Sunday morning I was scanning the tube and saw Michelle Obama being interviewed by a slouchy dude on BET. He wasn't hunkered-down slouchy, more of the leaning-to-the-left slouchy. Perhaps his posture was supporting the First Lady. It looked more like he was trying out pick-up lines in a Jo Cool sort of way.
Not normally the channel I land on, but I decided to stick for a while and see what was what.
All was going fine, not a lot of in-depth stuff going on - tell me about Barack as a husband/father, your family faith, your platform of making the fatty fat American's not as fat.
I was there, cool with it all for what it was.
And then he said the stupidest fucking thing I've heard in a long time. Paraphrasing, as I can't recount word-for-word, but the gist was: "You're the First Lady. When people think of the First Lady, they think of the standard that's being set."
The First Lady is the Standard. - that part was fine.
It was this part - not paraphrasing - that sat me upright, right up off of the cozy pillows of the hotel bed I was lounging away Sunday morning in: "And if you take the A-R-D out of Standard, you know what that stands for? A Righteous Dimension."
And then his left shoulder slouched down a little lower and he sort of smirked while proclaiming A Righteous Dimension a few more times.
I'll let that soak in for a moment, Reader.
He said that. To the First Lady. Just plucking some letters out of a word and making up some shit.
A Righteous Dimension lightly agreed with a "ummmmm hmmm" and a head nod.
What her response should have been? "What. The fuck. Are you even talking about?!"
And my vote for her husband would have been cast immediately.