Saturday, January 26, 2008

Electric Boogaloo

Kenny's head got swallowed by a giant mug o' beer Saturday night. He successfully fought back and was able to conquer it.

Another week of cold, snowy January has passed. It was a rather ordinary week, all-in-all. I had an informal presentation to prepare for at work, which went fine, overall. Always room for improvement, as I'm often reminded these days. I have my work goals that need completed by the 1st and I haven't even looked at them yet. I figure I'll whip that up quickly and not spend too much effort on it. All just corporate formalities.

A very large group of girls headed to the movies Thursday night - it was quite fun to have the gang together again! Meggan, Sally, Fran, Geri, Chris Jill and Marlene were able to join the festivus. I took a very rushed picture, resulting in a partially-obscured Marlene and a partially omitted Meggan. I never claimed to be a professional....photographer, that is :^)

We saw 27 Dresses, which was the typical chick-flick fluff movie. Kenny used his movie privileges and rounded up 8 free tickets for us - hooray! The movie was enjoyable enough, but I don't understand why they had to "ugly up" Katherine Heigl's character. And by ugly-ing her, they just gave her an unflattering hair color. And her cute, man-attracting sister was the stereotypical bubbly blond airhead.

Marlene did what she does best at the movies - cried and cried! Seriously, there was very little - if anything, really - to cry about in 27 Dresses, but she didn't let me down. I love, love, love to go to the movies with her because of that crying. So then, of course, during the touching moments I was laughing out loud because WaterWorks was in full swing. That, and Jill teasing Meggan about some sci-fi triller that's coming out - we obviously like to laugh at the expense of others.

January seems to be movie-month for me - I've spent a fair amount of time inside the theater as of late. Yesterday in the early evening Kenny and I went to see that new thriller, Untraceable. It was pretty good, but I'm now officially movied-out for at least a couple of days. After the movie we went out for big-ass beers and margaritas.

Sunday we went to Kenny's new office building and I painted his main office room for him in a nice medium grey. It was electric blue - a little bit jarring on the eyes. So I took care of that for him while he put together some tables he purchased from Marcs. They had a very large selection of office furniture at bargain-basement prices. He purchased a really nice desk (it's all Sauder, so it's not as if it's handmade Amish furniture, but nice enough), some tables and storage cabinets, all for under $100. The self-assembly may make it seem like less of a bargain by the end of the week, but so far so good.

January's drawing to a close and I haven't tried too much new stuff yet. The Mailman, Kenny and I went out for beers on Friday and chatted about life and stuff. It appears I'm the only one who isn't content. The Mailman and Kenny both agreed they would be perfectly happy doing what they're doing today ten years from now. They told me when I'm done with the Cleveland Rowers Association, writing a book, climbing Mt. Everest and competing in Triathlons, they'll have a nice cold beer waiting for me at Mo's bar - where they will be the whole time. So then I had another beer, because that sounded pretty good, too.

Not sure if this counts as new stuff for the month (Meggan seemed to think it did), but I actually pooped in a public venue. After second thought, I am going to count that as a new thing for the New Year! I have serious pooping issues, which the Mailman, Kenny and I also discussed over beers. I cannot "get in the mood" if any of the participants (in this case, myself and Kenny) have recently pooped. I need a lenghty period of time to pass, sort of a buffer zone.

So Mailman delved a little deeper into the issue to find out why - and we discovered that probably a lot of it has to do with my ex-husband's less-than-hygienic bathroom habits. He followed a "wipe 3 times only" self-imposed rule. And it showed - and smelled. I can recall lying in bed with him and smelling poop - he clearly hadn't cleaned himself too well that day. There was no way I was going anywhere near that area. If I had been wearing Fecal Glasses I probably would have slept in the guest bedroom! Good Lord, I cannot believe I ever was married to that! So over beers, we counseled me and got to at least a partial root of my issues.

On that too-much-information note, I'm out for the night. It's been a too-quick weekend and I need to hit the hay - it's going to be a busy week starting in a few short hours.

Peace, and live a fun-filled life this week! February is fast on January's heels!

P.S. - RIP, Heath. I'm very surprised how quickly People magazine had that on their cover - delivered to my doorstep 3 days later.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

As I've Matured

I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.

I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.

I've learned that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better have huge tits.

I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others - they are more screwed up than you think.

I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.

I've learned that regardless of how hot & steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take it's place.

I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon, and all the less important ones just never go away.

Saturday, January 19, 2008

Sleepin' City Sidewalks

Kenny went to Atlantic City and all I got was this lousy house to clean. Is that a t-shirt slogan? Because it should be. That seems to be the M.O. as of late - he goes on gaming jaunts and I stay home and try to organize and clean the homestead. That's a pretty crappy deal, if you ask me. But apparently no one asked me. Well, in all honesty, Kenny did ask me to go on the trip with him, and I declined yet another gambling venture - we were just in Vegas 2 weeks ago, for cryin' out loud. I'm trying to get financially ahead for 2008, and every-other-week gambling doesn't help that plan.

So here I sit, checking projects off the to-do list. It's not going very quickly because I am very easily distracted and take frequent breaks to blog, watch bad television, read articles in The Readers Digest, and walk Timmy's dog, Lady. I did get one big thing accomplished, in spite of my frequent procrastination techniques. I finally touched up the paint in the living and dining room - hooray! It wasn't hard, but even the smallest task becomes a project when opening a can of paint is involved. I mainly had to touch up around the new thermostat, and then some small miscellaneous scuffs in various spots. In the words of J. Peterman, "Here's to a job, done!"

I also made a big pot of potato soup (not on the list, but I still had that giant bag of potatoes to use from Sam's Club), and then I cleaned out the freezer to make room to store the soup containers. I've also been hauling stuff to the basement and sorting through the endless piles of mail we receive. I hung a cute Longaberger basket on the wall in the kitchen to hopefully keep better track of the important stuff that needs to be addressed. Time will tell how that method works, or if it just becomes one more place to pile junk.

I found this picture of Twinkle giving my nose a very hard chomp from 2005 or so. He loves chomping a nose - and it hurts, let me tell you!

Nothing makes a gal feel quite as old as the hoops I've had to jump through in order to sign up for my long-term disability benefits at work. Since I've turned forty-fucking-one, they won't just let me sign up for the 66 2/3% pay replacement option. I had to fill out a thick questionnaire, indicating every ailment or malady along with full addresses of all my doctors. This I have now had to do twice. Not sure what happened to it the first time, but I know I sent it off. Work benefits will let me have the 50% pay replacement option on the long-term disability, but they want to know the status of all my bodily parts before they agree to the extra 16 and 2/3rd's percentage. No wonder people bitch about getting older. Rob knows, and he hasn't even hit 40 yet, but he woke up one day and had a searing leg twinge. That's how it happens, my friend, that's how it happens. I can wake up injured after a night of sleep in a very comfortable bed. Go figure.

I've revised my New Year's Resolutions once again. Now my focus is to try one new thing per month. It can be something simple, such as a new restaurant experience, or something complex, such as learning a new skill. I'm going to create a running checklist so I can track my progress. I think it seems pretty fun and will force me to step out of my comfort zone and stay fresh and stimulated.

My friend Katie and I are going to see His Holiness The Dalai Lama in April. He'll be in Ann Arbor, so we're making it a fun-filled trip on our quest for spiritual renewal. Or something like that. But I'm excited, I think it will be pretty cool to be in the presence of His Holiness. Would it be wrong to bar-hop and gamble the night before??

The girls and I have a movie night scheduled for this coming week. It's really nice to get that back in the rotation - we kinda fell out of that habit. We're going to see 27 Dresses. I have been toying with the idea of starting a Supper Club, which would be a borrowed idea from some people at work. It sounds fun, a diverse group tries a new restaurant every month. I could start my own diverse group and see what happens - plus it would be rather fun to try some fancy restaurants in the area. I am really ready to get some new fun things on the agenda for 2008.

My dog Whitey has been gone since 2005, and while I miss him still, I have gotten quite accustomed to not having dog responsibilities. Which is what makes it even harder with Tim & Ken gone this weekend, since I'm on dog-duty. Lady Dog loves me and loves coming upstairs to visit, but it's a lot of work that, frankly, my lazy ass just isn't used to any more! I hate early morning and late night walks when it's cold outside!

This is actually the first time in many-a-year that I haven't had to bother with a lot of pet responsibilities. I had the dog, who wasn't sick or anything, but required daily attention. Then I had Grey Cat with her thyroid medication twice a day, and Newfie with her daily insulin needs. I am hoping to just have a few more years before anyone else gets sick! It would be nice to just have cats that aged without problems, but we'll see if that really happens for me. Twink had a cold this week and I was worried. I always worry about his breathing anyway, he had such a severe respiratory infection when I found him that I anticipate problems with his lungs at some point. By the way, I know that's a pretty crappy picture of Whitey, and it's rather a shame that I don't have better ones. That's what ya get from a camera phone sometimes. But it's better than none, I guess.

Well, it's 9:00 a.m. on a Sunday morning and I've already been outdoors to walk Lady. The smell and the feel of a still Sunday morning never fails to make these lyrics run through my head, from an old Kris Kristofferson song:

Well I woke up Sunday morning,
With no way to hold my head that didn't hurt.

And the beer I had for breakfast wasn't bad,

So I had one more for dessert.

Then I fumbled through my closet for my clothes,

And found my cleanest dirty shirt.

An' I shaved my face and combed my hair,

An' stumbled down the stairs to meet the day.

Then I crossed the empty street,

'n caught the Sunday smell of someone fryin' chicken.

And it took me back to somethin',

That I'd lost somehow, somewhere along the way.

On the Sunday morning sidewalk, I'm Wishing, Lord, that I was stoned.

'Cos there's something in a Sunday,Makes a body feel alone.

And there's nothin' short of dyin',

Half as lonesome as the sound,

On the sleepin' city sidewalks:Sunday mornin' comin' down.

Maybe it's because my mom used to make fried chicken on Sunday. Not every Sunday, but often enough that I associate Sunday's and fried chicken. And cold winter Sundays with a big pot of chili and homemade greasy potato pancakes - yum! Early morning Sunday's smell like that to me.

Well, I don't want to squander my day, I have big plans to finish straightening and organizing the living room (seems like I do that absolutely every week, where in the hell does this shit come from???), heading to the gym to make the Pilates Reformer my bee-yotch, then possibly to see Atonement. I also have some returns to make to Sephora, but that may or may not happen.

Meggan's celebrating a birthday Monday the 21st - Happy Birthday, Meggan!!

Peace, and enjoy your week - you can't get the time back, so make the most of it while it's here!

Monday, January 14, 2008

The Fuckit List

We just saw The Bucket List. Excellent movie, I really liked it more than I had expected I would. I laughed, I cried, it became a part of me...

It inspired me to create my own list to live by, The Fuckit List. I'll build my list as things come up that can just Fuck It.

Saturday, January 12, 2008

Hotmess: Above and Beyond an Ordinary Mess

It's official. Some days I would rather lay around in my own squalor rather than clean the house. But look at how cute my laying-around-pals are. It was a 3-cat pile up!

We decided to take a Saturday afternoon catnap rather than scrub the toilet, vacuum or mop. A decision we may regret at a later date, but fully enjoyed today.

It was a really fast work-week. Busy, busy. Only made it to the gym one night, but I guess that's better than none. Although that is now officially two Resolutions which have been breached. I think I need to revisit those, I'm not having much success so far and it's only 11 days into the year. Or 12 days, can't keep 'em straight, even with my new Palm Pilot TX. That's a whole 'nother story, which includes tears and a scrunched-up frowny face. I seem to have it stuck on one Excel sheet, can't figure out how to get to my other documents, reminders for tasks don't "pop up" and remind me (not even sure if they're supposed to, or if I'm just supposed to check 'em daily), and I don't know how to download files I've created on my laptop into the Palm. Well, one thing at a time, I guess. I did get some CDs ripped for my MP3 player, but that's about all the progress with technology that I have made recently. Sad, really. During the crying spell, I told Kenny I was taking it all back and buying a good old-fashioned spiral bound notebook and a new ink pen. I miss the good ol' days, simpler times.

Speaking of simpler times, Friday night the girls from Product Management and myself had a good old-fashioned night out at Saddleridge, learning to line dance and two-step. As corny and ridiculous as it sounds, it was really a LOT of fun, I tried a few different dance steps and it wasn't nearly as difficult as I had feared. Kenny stopped up to make sure I didn't need a designated driver (nights with those girls can sometimes creep up and break bad on me!), but he wasn't interested in two-steppin' and boot-scooted on outta there when he saw all was fine.
Stefanie and I stayed the latest, and perhaps should have left when the rest of the girls did, because at some point it seemed like a good idea to ride the mechanical bull. Stef went first, and last. The a-hole DJ turned it up super-fast and it swung her around, knocked her in the head and threw her off. She thought she lost a tooth. Luckily she did not, but I'm sure she is sporting a very large and painful bruise on her jawline, but she Cowboy'd Up and didn't even cry. I chewed his ass out for that stupid maneuver, I think he was afraid I was going to tell the owner on him or something. He said it was an accident, but I'm not sure I believe that. Whatever, I'm just glad she's okay, and that she went first; if I had gotten knocked off like that I would have ended up in the hospital, I'm sure - I'm not nearly as bouncy as young Stefanie! I did give Stefanie the movie Urban Cowboy, which just happened to be riding around with me in my car for the past few months (don't ask why).

The big exciting news of the week is that Kenny and his friend Jim finally found and rented some very suitable office space for their businesses. It's very close to home, 3,000ish square feet with three separate offices, a waiting area, a kitchen, bathroom and a very large storage area for all their stuff. Kenny's going to make a man room out of one of the offices, complete with flat-screen t.v. and a pinball machine. He informed me there won't be a flower to be found in the entire place. It's a man zone. He's excited, and I'm excited for him. Plus, it means the basement and garage are going to be emptied out! Which means - possibly, maybe, just maybe - we might have room to park cars in the garage by next winter, and makes it slightly more reasonable for me to buy the convertible I have my eye on for the spring! I need a place to keep it during the winter months, don't want to just leave her sitting out in the cold and snow - she's a warm-weather kinda girl. Or will be, if or when I ever get her. Anyway, regarding the office space, we're going to give some of the rooms a fresh paint job, so that should keep us busy for the next couple of weeks. I don't mind some new painting projects, that will be rather fun for me.

Regarding my Resolutions. I have made some mental revisions and here they are - it's cheating a little bit since I've already accomplished one of them (line dancing).

1/ Try Something New - Line Dancing! And I want to go back, so hopefully this will be something that I am somewhat proficient at by the end of the year. I wouldn't mind going two or three times a month for a while, it's very fun.

2/ Open my Learn Italian CDs I purchased before my trip to Italy in 2006 and actually try to Learn Italian.

3/Write my book. It's in there, I will coax it out.

That's it, along with the others sans the sex thing. That was just crazy talk.

So another week wraps up and here we are again. No closer to finding the Meaning of Life, but all-in-all happy with where I'm at right now. I did ask Timmy if he was happy with where he was at in life and he responded, "I don't think I'm going to amount to much more than this." It made me laugh out loud, which is really what the importance of living boils down to - laughing with friends every chance you get. It helps to balance things out when life is a hotmess.

Kenny just got home from a wedding and he followed the wedding rules I established for him - cake is in the house! I believe I will go sample a few bites momentarily.

Peace. I tried to come up with a new sign-off for '08, but then decided that a little consistency isn't a bad thing.

Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Is that a carrot in your pants, or are you just happy to see me??

A gentleman farmer presented Sophie with this carrot:

She tried to give it to me, but I told her I had no need for it, I have Kenny. Although while I think he could go head-to-head (get it???) with him in length, the carrot certainly wins on girth. Thank God, or my uterus would fall out of the gaping hole that thing would leave in it's wake.
Sophie decided to keep the carrot. She said she'd make soup.

Saturday, January 5, 2008

Resolving to have a GREAT 2008

2008 roared in with a bang - right over the Planet Hollywood casino in Las Vegas for us! It was a very fun time being in Vegas for New Year's Eve - Lileks put it best: Vegas! Soulless, thrilling, teasing, Vegas!

Twinkle packed himself and was ready to go with us again:

Overindulgence was the word of the trip - late nights blurred into early mornings of gambling & drinking. We all had, as Rusty calls it, "meat sweats" from the amount of beef that was consumed. Three-hundred dollar dinners were the norm - good wine, great food, great company. Of course, Kenny "Lucky Pants" won $3000 on a video poker machine. No gaming story would be complete without a "Kenny Wins" story.

The view from our room at Paris was really nice, we overlooked the pool and Eiffel Tower.

Our fancy party invitation came to life, with real "fairies" all over the grand ballroom.

Las Vegas actually closed down Las Vegas Blvd to accommodate the crowds that would fill the streets as it drew closer to midnight. Kenny was excited to stand in the middle of the street. Of course, he was also a little drunk, which may have made it seem that much more exciting.

All-in-all, it was a really fun trip, and by far the most fun New Year's Eve I've ever spent. And our flight home was the best, somehow we lucked into an empty seat in our row so we were able to sprawl out in complete comfort. And now it's officially 2008, and I'm hopeful that it's going to be great!

The return to normalcy was a little rough, getting back into the work schedule and just doing everyday life stuff. We did a bit of grocery shopping today, some laundry and such, and I made what I believe will be a life-changing purchase today: a Palm Pilot. I have grandiose ideas that it will keep me hyper-organized and on-track with dieting, budgeting, novel-writing - all of it! It has a lot of responsibility on it's very slim shoulders. She's charging up right now, I need to figure out how to use it - along with my MP3 player, which I haven't figured out yet, either. This is the big electronics weekend for me - it's all on my resolution list.

Speaking of resolutions, I'm pretty happy to report that I did in fact achieve some of my goals last year. The house is entirely painted, the back room is somewhat organized (some crap on the bed needs to be put away, but overall it's in pretty good shape), the house is getting where I want it to be. I actually wrote some book paragraphs, contrary to Mr. Murdoch's prediction that I would be no farther along at the end of the year than I was at the beginning. Now, it's not much, to be sure, but it's something and it is a start. I have more goals for that this year, but I'll get into that in a bit. I've also managed to get my back nerve issues under control and I stopped being chronic pain girl in 2007. I joined a gym - and have actually used it on a rather regular basis. All those things I am very proud of accomplishing - so I get a self-clap for that!

My goals/resolutions for this year may be a bit harder to accomplish, I'm ramping up my expectations of myself a bit. I've already semi-failed on my first resolution, which was to have sex every day. I had just read an article in Glamour about a couple who tried that, so I thought, "Why not?" Why not indeed. It's actually a bad decision. Bad, I say. Don't try it - trust me, you'll just want to go to bed and watch House Hunters three days into it all. I've forged ahead, as Kenny has been quick to remind me, "Nobody likes a quitter," but tonight will probably be the end of that resolution. Maybe not the end, but definitely a revision.

My other resolutions haven't had a ton of thought, but I'm putting them down here and hoping for the best. Here goes:

1/ Gym - 3 times a week, minimum. Add 20 minutes of some form of cardio to the Pilates routine I've been doing.

2/ Book - have a strong outline and 2 chapters written by year end.

3/ Budget - track spending for a month as advised by Meggan (on my new Palm Pilot!), formulate a savings plan to see what is achievable within the next 5 years. My short-term goal/desire is to buy that cute little convertible I want this coming spring. Now, I could do that now, but I don't want an extra little fun car to infringe on my vacationing, so I need to do a bit of planning to get there.

4/ Read more books. Last year I sadly - and yet happily - read four books, which is more than I have in the past few years. But still not as many as I would like to get through - I really enjoy reading, but watch too much television just because it's a mindless way to keep entertained. But I made strides last year, and I'm sure I can do even better this year. Or at least the same, that would be acceptable as well. But not less. Too many good novels out there to let pass me by.

I think four is plenty, that's not even counting that crazy daily sex idea. I saw a commercial on t.v. that was mocking resolutions and the three they mocked were all mine - organize, lose weight, write a novel. I'm officially not very original. Except for the sex thing :)

Last night Tim, Kenny and I played Drunken Rockband.

We all slept til noon on Saturday. The boys are back out again tonight at Fox & Hound in Parma watching football, but I declined the invite and opted for home and the couch instead. I just watched We Are Marshall for the first time - what a good movie! I cried and shouted along with the team.

The cats had to get their obligatory New Year's Photos. I could only catch three of them, Widda and Stanley were having NONE of it.

Peace, and on behalf of Kenny, the cats and myself we wish you a Great 2008!