Sunday, July 26, 2009
T: What's the point of being a lesbian if you still wanna have something shoved up your snatch? - while watching a Sunday afternoon porno (don't judge me, Reader!). K: How does he keep his sunglasses on while he's doing that?
K: Did you eat all that cake?
T: Yes, but it was only 3 pieces.
K: They were double pieces, so technically, it was 6 pieces.
T: Are you calling me fat?
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Sophie had some interesting viewpoints today that she shared. While I was helping her get her seat belt fastened, we reminisced about the 'olden days' when you didn't have to wear a seat belt, and kids just bounced around loose in the backseat. She then piped up with, "Well, Dolly, now they make you strap the kids in, and all these cars roll over and catch fire and the kids burn up because they can't get out!" Huh. Maybe so.
Later she told me how she went next door and threw her trash away (she uses the neighbor's can for her little bit of garbage, since she lives in the country trash pickup is something you pay for) and noticed a great big pile of soda cans in the trash. So she went home, got a great big bucket (her description) and pulled all those soda cans out and took it to the neighbor and told that she needs to take those to the recycle bin and get a couple of dollars for them, rather than just throwing money in the trash like that. Now, I'm not mocking her, No Sirree. I'm just saying, she could write a book on how to save a nickle. And it's not just because of the current economic times, she has lived her entire life without squandering. She truly is leaving the smallest carbon footprint behind of all time. I believe Al Gore should personally deliver a prize to her. At the very least, Ed Begley Jr. should pay her a visit. The End.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Then Girl Cat did some weird running through the living room stunt that caused Kenny and I to sit up and take notice, and we noticed that she had big strings of drool coming down her face. Why?? What to do?? We took her to the bathroom, washed her face and just looked at her to see if she was going to do it more. Then she shook her head, just like Caesar does from his nausea. We hope that was an isolated weird incident. So we're watching her. Watching Caesar.While all three of us were shut up in the bathroom, Twinkle mournfully cried to get in, so we let him in. Then we saw two grey cat paws poking under the door. Stanley felt left out of the Party in the Bathroom. No one wants in once they're in, but they all think Fun and Games are going on and want to particate. At first.
And lastly, my black cat Widda seems to be losing weight. Not sure if she's just being bullied out from her food dish, or if she's having issues. We isolated her and her food dish during dinner and she seemed to be eating just fine. So that's the cat situation. Worry. And lots of it.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Tracye: "I've been thinking about getting one of these dress things, they're quite popular at the moment."
Kenny: "A moo-moo???!!"
Tracye: "NO! They are NOT moo-moo's! They are MAXI DRESSES and all the girls are wearing them nowadays!"
Kenny: "Uh, I'm pretty sure those are moo-moos."
Tracye, asking sales lady: "Are these moo-moos???"
Innocent Sales Lady: "Um, it depends on what era you're in. They WERE moo-moos, but now they're called Maxi Dresses."
Kenny: "I don't think that sounds like anything you want to be wearing. Let's see how many girls are wearing them at the mall today."
Tracye: "Maybe I'll just stick with jeans and a shirt."
- Stanley (the cat, not the neighbor or the grandpa) sat on my face this morning. Tail up, bunghole exposed, Sat. Right. On. My. Face. I guess that'll teach me to hog my own pillow.
- Caesar the cat's cancerous tumor has shrunk to half it's original size. Hooray!! He's still being quite an asshole about taking his medicine, so Kenny was given some covert number to call to place an order to get the meds in a tuna-flavored liquid format. It's a fishy story, with sketchy details. No address is given, no company name - just a number to call, place your order, call back later and arrange for pickup and payment. WTF?? Is this some sort of Kitty Meth Lab that makes tuna-flavored meds on the side?? I don't know. Kenny's handling it. I sure hope the deal doesn't go South - we don't need a hit on us, not when we're finally kicking cancer's ass and Jack Bauer's on hiatus.
- We've caught Caesar sleeping in the cat carrier, the one he cries and protests getting into as it always results in a trip to the vet. We're not sure if he figures it's the absolute last place we'd look for him and thus he'll avoid getting his medicines, or if he's trying to cowboy-up and face his fears.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Yes, I know you may find it hard to believe, but I actually tore myself away from the casino and hung by the pool, not just once, but twice. I read my first Danielle Steele book there. Expectations are lower when reading by a body of water. It was the perfect easy read for a poolside lounge-about, with an $18 drink in my hand. It was a fun, if quick, trip. A big group of us went, but par-for-the-course, I rarely saw some of the people, and didn't even see our friends Kim & Jim at all. Some got in on Thursday, some Saturday, some went home at different times - it really was only "travelling together" in the loosest sense of the words.
Here are some highlights at it pertains to me:
1. Treated myself to a spa-facial. Had a 50% off coupon, with the small-print disclaimer "up to $50." Nothing on the spa menu was under $100. Facial = $200 for 50 minutes. Got one anyway, figured if I could spend it in a slot machine, I could spend it on someone rubbing my head.
Same night as facial, two separate dudes wanted summa dis. No, I wasn't hallucinating - Kenny was right there with me when one of the overt flirations occured - he must not have appeared threatening. Yeah, that was $150 well-spent dollars - I was a magnet! Or maybe it was my giant ....er.....
2. While at The Wynn, we wandered in to the High Roller area. I had to pee, and was delighted to use their facilities. I was also a little worried they were going to tell me I couldn't pee there, but then thought "they don't even know who I am - I COULD be a high roller for all they know." I had an attidude and they never even batted an eyelash my way.
The toilet didn't disappoint, and in fact was worthy of a photo. It was a single-stall unit, complete with beautiful decor and a little etegere filled with high-roller amentities: hairspray, lotions, mouthwash, powders, etc. I of course tried all of them and felt quite ritzy. I felt like a Wynner.
While I was in the bathroom Kenny took an illegally-gotten photo of the highest-dollar slot machine in Vegas: $5,000 a pull. Yep, we were right where we belonged in there.
This is just a cool little area near the entrance of The Wynn.
3. The morning we were leaving for home, Kenny and I played some Supertimes Pay Video Poker, which is a game Kenny normally plays but I don't. It was a profitable morning for me, I quickly won $3000! After collecting my winnings, we still had time to kill so I played another Supertimes pay 2 machines down and won another $1000. It was definately my morning - and Kenny's, too, as I was a good sharer.
4. Once we got to the airport, they were handing out first-class upgrades and I was in the right place at the right time and scored a seat in 2A. Poor Kenny, he was back in steerage. I inquired about buying an upgrade for him, but it would have cost $700, and that just wasn't happening, not even with my recent winnings. Two hundred dollars, yes. Seven, no. Sorry, sucka. See ya in Cleveland.