If It's Not Cat Ass Cancer, It's My Back.

Hobbled into the office today. Parked in visitors, up by the door. Called Security to alert them to my car not really being a visitor, but don't faux-ticket me as I need the help this week.

They brought me down a handicapped parking pass. I felt embarrassed, and then indigent, and wanted the pass to say "Differently-Abled". But I'll be using it, no matter what it says on it.

Then? It didn't get any better as the day wore on. I only really got out of my chair once today, to go to the restroom. And rest I did. Twice on the way there, twice on the way back. I counted, it was a hundred paces each way.

I don't have a hundred uninterrupted paces in me.

Went and picked up a cane from The Hoff tonight. As she so politely put it, "sometimes we all need a little extra help." And she said it with such genuine dignity, it made me puddle up a little bit, because that was my harsh German Hoff being gentle and she doesn't do gentle. I heart her. When I am better I shall do something kind for her.

So now I have a Mr. Peanut cane and a handicapped parking permit. Do I get any sexier??

Apparently not, because My Mister was eager to get a little of this since he returned home from his little trip. He has no standards.

I asked my chiropractor if this was a normal level of pain, he said that I'm in the 20% of his clients who are in exceptional pain. I'm not alone, but we're in our own special little segment. He said I have six pinched nerves. Those mothers hurt, let me assure you.

Calling Dr. one more time tomorrow to order up a steroid, not this non-steriod shit he's been prescribing which isn't doing a lick of good. Chiro told me that if he orders this one thing, I'll be markedly improved within two days. I need that, I've done the (im)patiently wait thing. Next step for me is a motorized wheelchair (don't laugh, Kenny's mom has one, we've dubbed it "Ol' Ironsides."

Before I'm scooting around in Ol' Ironsides later this week, something has to change.