Oceanfront Property In Arizona

Oh, Walgreens, why do you have to entice me with all your But Wait, There's More! innovations As Seen on TV?  Because I can't seem to resist trying them all, and it usually ends up with someone disappointed. Usually me, but sometimes My Mister, because he has to deal with the #1/ inevitable returns or #2/ stuff all over the counters.  

Recent purchases include the Instabulb, which is Insta-mazing in my closet (after 1 day, it didn't fall down yet), HD Vision Fold-Away sunglasses, which now that I've read the reviews I don't have high hopes for them at all, and this thing:

This looks like a something that would be used on a vagina, either before, after, or in conjunction with one of those old-fashioned water-bottle style douches. Which, by the way, I remember seeing hanging in the bathtub when I was an innocent yute, questioned why a hot water bottle would need such a long hose, never did get an answer. I apologize for that, as I made you think about my mother's vagina just now. Sorry. Er. Back to the item at hand. 

This just looks so... wrong. It's so pink and plastic-y and rubber-ended-y. 

It makes me feel ashamed and a little dirty. 

But what is it, you ask?? Well, Reader, you'll either be relieved or disappointed to find out it's some crazy hair twirler for lazy people who don't want to bother with the arduous task of using a curling iron on their hairs.  It dries AND curls in one step. 

So I guess it could be something you use on your vagina if you were so inclined. And had really long hairs.

I've been whipping my hairs back & forth in this thing (did you catch that pop-culture reference I threw in there for you just now? you're welcome.) for the past few days, and this is as good as it got:

Now, that amount of "curl" is at the end of the day, so it did as it claimed and held the twirls for the entire day. But I'm not sold on that being a curl, or is it really just a batch of messy hair? 

No one told me my hair looked nice today. So maybe it leaned towards "just messy" more than beachy waves. 

I'm on the fence about this. But may have to take it back regardless. It's just a little too.... too.... pornographic, sitting next to my toothbrush, first thing in the morning. A Lady ~ahem~ has her standards.