With Love, My Dear Friend

She was always a little bit different, this one. Not your ordinary cat. Right off the bat you could see she was different as she had a little stumpy fluff where a full size tail should have been. I found out that was her breed, Manx, and she had the distinction of being a stumpy Manx - meaning she had a bit of tail meat and fluff, but not much to waggle around.

Newfie joined the family in November of 1992 - a birthday gift to myself that year. I had just expressed my desire to add another member to the family and had requested a small little calico kitten as my desired kitten of choice. It was kismet when we walked into that pet store off of Great Northern Boulevard shortly after I threw my request out to the Universe. Two calico fluffballs were romping in the glassed cage.

Well, they were both just so stinkin' cute, there was no way I was leaving one of them behind. We purchased both kitties for $35 each, plus tax, and promply delivered Newfie's sister Naomi to my mother, who fell in love with her at first sight.

Naomi was named by my mother after a character on Mama's Family. She was the lucky one :) Newfie got her moniker because she was....well....the New Cat in the house. Clever, I know. Newfie just sort of morphed out of New Cat on it's own, and at least it did add an element of cute to the name.

While her name wasn't very cutesy or common, there isn't another name out there that would have been better suited for her. She was a Newfie through and through. Little. Yellow. Different. That was my Newf.

Newf was a tiny little thing until one day it was observed, "Newf's getting a little fat." It seemed like overnight she went from being a well-porportioned kitten to a basketball-bellied cat. She liked her food! And really, what else did she have? She was spayed. She wasn't allowed outside. Her lack of a tail, which acts as a stabalizer for cats, made it really difficult for her to maintain her balance if she jumped, so she pretty much ceased all activities that she couldn't do from the floor. So she ate.

Newfie became a fast favorite with everyone who met her. She had a gentle personality that demanded nothing more than some occassional attention. But boy, when she wanted attention, she demanded it! New didn't have a common cat meow, she instead made a noise that sounded like a gutteral shout, "Maakah." It was very discernable. As she couldn't hoist herself up onto any of the furniture, she would stand at your feet and bark, "Maakah" until you picked her up and held her for as long as she deemed necessary.

Some years ago she was diagnosed with diabetes. Probably due to her penchant for food and lack of activity, one would guess. Newf required a morning and an evening shot of insulin (the same type people use) and she took those shots in stride - she rarely complained, and when she did it was more than likely deserved for jabbing her a bit too harshly. Everyone learned to give her a shot, even those who were at first relunctant. The reaction was the same for everyone, too, "Wow, that was just so easy!" No problems, that summed up Newfie's life. She rolled with it and everyone around her did, too.

Despite her size and lack of agility, she had a few catlike abilities that she was proud to showcase. She had lightening-fast eye/paw coordination and could catch a housefly or bug in midair. Now, those bugs would have to fly into her "zone," she wasn't going to chase them - that's crazy talk. But if they were unfortunate enough to fly within paw's distance, she owned 'em.

Newf could always be found in one of the same few spots around the house. She liked to sleep in a box lid, her cat basket, in a little corner nook of the living room, or lying near her food or water dish. She was too lazy to stand to eat or drink, she instead just laid by the bowls - and she'd stay there for a good while, just in case she got a bit parched or needed a quick nibble. She took her laziness to the extreme at times and wouldn't even dip her head into the water bowl; instead, she'd dip her paw into the water dish and then lick the water off her fluffy paw soppers. Now that's a lazy cat, and Kenny swears that Caesar picked up this little habit of hers and that's why he now dips his paws into a freshly poured cup of coffee and licks it clean! Newf's left her legacy behind.

She got very sick very quickly. On an ordinary Sunday in November, she just wasn't herself; she had no appetite and was very weak, she could barely stand up. A subsequent trip to the pet emergency clinic helped in the short term, but she never quite fully recovered. The wonderful Dr. Fred and his staff at Cloverleaf Animal Hospital worked with us to try and get her back on track, but the efforts didn't last long and were, in the end, futile. It's suspected she had cancer, but we don't know for sure. She died the day after Thanksgiving, November 23, 2007, while in the care of the veternarian. There are no words that can adequately express the loss of a beloved pet - faithfully loving, always accepting, forever welcoming. I was the lucky one, to have had her in my life for 15 years. Rest easy, beloved Newfie. Mama misses you.

Just Like That

She's gone....

A proper tribute to a wonderful pet to be posted later.

Leavin' on a Jet Plane

There he sits, Ruler of the Roost. He is one bad motherfucker, he of the name Twinkle Toes. I will miss him while we're gone for the next couple of days. We leave in a couple of hours, I've allowed myself a couple quick minutes to blather on about the holiday and miscellaneous whatnot.

Kenny and I just had a quick argument about packing - he asked me to pack some stuff for him in with my suitcase, to which I adamantly refuse to do so. He is too messy. When I have packed his stuff with mine in the past, I thought my head would explode on vacation as he rooted around in the luggage, disheveling all of my carefully folded clothing items while he dug for a pair of clean underwear. So no, the answer is no: I will not "just throw some stuff for you into my bag." No matter how nice he asks, or how whiny. It's a very messy person who makes ME look like a neatnik. He succeeds in making me look very tidy.

Quick hair update: I went to the salon to meet with owner and their Redkin professional colorist, who happens to be Meggan's gal. I was on the border of irate, but they at least didn't insult me by trying to tell me the color looked good. So Mary, the colorist, made some sense when she said that if they just refund my money without my letting them try to fix it, I'll still have to walk around for the next few weeks with that horrible color on my head. Long story short, I agreed to let her try it, and while it doesn't look bad, it still isn't Sara Hair. It's too light now, but that's because she didn't really know what she was aiming for . Hair color trauma/drama is just ridiculous, but when you're paying a lot of money, you should get professional looking results. Which I did not, and still do not have, but she did spend a lot of time on it and tended to it with care, which I appreciated the effort being made. Course, it naturally ended up costing me more money - I couldn't let her work on my head for 2 1/2 hours and NOT tip her, it wasn't her fault that it was fucked up to begin with. She tried to insist "no" on it, but I guess I was out to prove I wasn't an unreasonable asshole and insisted she take it. So now my so-so hair has set me back $182. I felt the cock pull out of my asshole after they shoved that one up there. Too graphic?? Apologies to the delicate.

Thanksgiving was a delight. We went to Kenny's grandparent's house, taking my grandmother Sophie with us. Very good food, very good fun all the way around. Kenny and I took Mapleside Farms apple and blackberry pies, as well as a sweet potato casserole I whipped up. Since we're leaving today we weren't able to capitalize on the leftover situation - drat.

Margie did impart a useful tip 'o the day for us: If you're stuffed from too much stuffing, a little snifter of Creme de Menthe will rid you of that overly "full" feeling. We each sipped a little shot of that, and lo' and behold, we were able to shovel more food into our gullets before too long. So we enjoyed 3 flavors of pie with some cinnamon ice cream on top. Yum! Then we drank more Creme de Menthe. Margie argued with me that it was pronounced "cream," and not "creme" and I pointed out that's because she's a hillbilly and thinks it's pronounced "cream de mint-aye."

Alright, I've used up my allotted blogging minutes, I must dash and pack clean underwear and kiss cats. Newfie has been delivered to the vet, she took another turn for the worse last night, she's coughing up spittle again and not eating. I am glad she's in the hands of the vet while we're gone.

Peace, and give thanks for all that's good in your lives!

Holiday Wishes

May your stuffing be tasty

May your turkey be plump,

May your potatoes and gravy

Have nary a lump.

May your yams be delicious

And your pies take the prize,

And may your Thanksgiving dinner

Stay off your thighs!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Random Thoughts

Some Things I Dislike:

• Weak people. Get some backbone, do the right thing, stand up for your convictions, don't fuck with people's heads that don't deserve it.


• Scraggley cuticles.


• High humidity.


• Bad shoes.


• Bad hair. Bad EXPENSIVE hair.


• Screaming kids.


• Screaming kids that run amok in public venues.


• Weekend obligations.


• Sore feet.
  

Some Things I Like:

• Fucking with people's heads that deserve it.


• Cake.


• Frosting.


• A strong back.


• Kind shoes.


• My boyfriend!!


• My boyfriend in the rack :)


• Dinner out.


• Wings and icy-cold beer. Especially with my boyfriend.


• Hanging out with my girlfriends.


• Cats in bed.


• Cats on my lap while watching television.


• Weekend afternoon catnaps. With cats.


• Friendly faces.
• Dark nailpolish.

Some Things I'm Thankful For:

• That my kitty is feeling better.
• That I'm with the one I love/who loves me back.
• My family.
• A roof over my head.
• Decent health for myself and those I love.
• Enough money to pay my bills and still have fun.
• Finally getting my divorce finalized!
• My independence.
• Living in America.
• My right to vote.
• My right to pursue happiness. I may not find it, but I have the right to keep looking.
• TV - big tv's :)

Happy Birthday To Me!

Where to start? It's been a jam-packed week, and it was Birthday Week to boot, which made it special on it's own merit. It wasn't always a "good" busy either. The week was fraught with cat strife, with many trips back and forth to the vet. Luckily we have her a bit stabilized for the time being, and after Saturday's visit where she received a steroid shot she's even started to eat a bit. The vet has admitted that he just doesn't know what's wrong. She has signs of pointing in one direction, but then the symptoms stop supporting the theory. So we're just trying to get her to eat, drink, poop and pee in a normal fashion - the basics are all we're asking for and it seems we're getting back on track a bit. For the time being, at least. I was very concerned about going out of town next week with her so iffy, but I spoke with the vet and I can board her there for $16/day - which is quite a bargain! We'll be taking her down there on Friday morning before we jet off to Vegas. I feel much better leaving with that plan in place. Here's a pic of her on one of our trips to the vet - she gets wrapped up in a fleecy blankie and does just fine riding.


I think I hate my new cellphone. Hate it, I say. It's confusing to use, I have repeatedly dialed my grandmother as she's 1st in my fave fives and hitting "send" doesn't dial the last number called like my last phone, instead it dials Sophie. I can't send pictures to emails, I had to set up a T-Mobile album thing, the pictures - as you can see - are lacking in quality (although none of the pictures have had ideal lighting). Anyway, I'm just disgruntled beyond belief with the whole situation.

With all the cat drama of the past week, as well as shitty work deadlines, I completely missed my hair appointment with Sarah. Geri saw her on Wednesday and Sarah told her to tell me she'd do me on Saturday (my birthday) over her lunch hour. Well, I was all set for that, but we found ourselves at the vet again and I had to cancel my appointment with her. Fearing I would have to go to Vegas with trailer-trash roots peeking though, I tried a new option in my neighborhood, which Meggan recommended. Meggan always has nice color, so I figured why not give it a shot and they actually had appointments available on Sunday, which is just unheard of, being open on a Sunday. I happily made an appointment, even though Meggan's girl wasn't available. I figured - again, naively - that anyone could do a good job - it's just hair, they're not splitting the atom.

Well, let's just say the results were less than desirable. They ASSURED me they could match my current base & highlight color, that they used Aveda color and it wouldn't be a problem. It's not even close to what I had, and the chick didn't use the Aveda color, despite the fact I requested it when I made the appointment. She had my head halfway done before I realized it was all fucked up. I didn't even get a style or blowdry, and it was a very basic trim, and I almost fell over when I checked out - $150. I asked to see a breakdown of the bill, since that's more than I get charged at John Roberts, and that includes a blowdry/style. Anyway, no sense in getting into it, but when they asked for my personal info for their computer, I told them there was no need, I wouldn't be back. And then once my hair dried and I realized how bad the color was compared how it started out - not even close in color - I called back once I got home and went off on them. They offered to let me come in for a redo, and I asked why in the world would I let them touch my head again when they couldn't get it right the first time - that's piling bad hair on top of bad hair. No thanks. Although I do think I'm not quite done bitching with them, I think I want some money back or free product or something. At least they know I'm pissed off and unhappy. Meggan, rest easy, I never gave them your name so they won't take it out on you when you go back. It's my own fault for just going with whoever and straying from the recommended girl. Live & Learn. Luckily, it's hair and it grows, but the $150 price tag for shitty hair really annoys me. Still. I still haven't calmed down about it! Kenny said it doesn't look that bad and I told him to shut the fuck up.

Okay, that's 2 bad things. Let me think happy thoughts for a moment....ah...breath in, breath out.

Oh, one more bitchy item. With all the commotion this week I was unable to make my 2/times week commitment to the gym so now I'll be locked into a contract with them and have to pay an extra dollar per month. Double Fuck. And it's probably going to be like starting over when I get back on that Pilates Reformer - I haven't been acquainted with that in a week. I think it will own my ass again tomorrow night.

Wednesday night was the very fun Garth Brooks "concert" at Cinemark. We met Dan & Bev and Kim & Jim at Quaker Steak for a dinner and beer beforehand.

The concert was very fun, really good - but he's lookin' old! There is snow on the chimney! I'd still do him, he'd just have to leave his hat on :)

Thursday night was the Karaoke Radio Contest finals at Howl at the Moon. We got down there around 7:30 and it wasn't over until about 1:30 a.m. - CRAZY long night. I was CRANKY by the end, there was no reason to drag it out over that many hours, but the numbnuts that planned it (not Kenny) were trying to milk the bar tab as much as possible so they dragged it out. I was shot for work on Friday, not sure how I managed to get through the work day, but I did and I was even productive. The Product Management girls and Rita from my new department were all going out with me for Birthday Cocktails after work and I was already dragging from being out on Wednesday and Thursday, but I figured I could handle it - I'm not old yet! I can keep up! Or so I told myself....

I had a really good time with Rita, Emily, Chelsey, Kristin & Stefanie - always a good time. But I had to cut my own party short because Kenny made dinner plans for later - 8:30 - with some friends, so I went from one outing to another. It was very rushed for me - I guess that's the one of the hazards of being so popular!

Last night Melinda text-messaged me with the news that my nephew Justin was in another car accident. She said he's fine, but the car was totalled. I am ashamed to admit it, but I haven't had the chance to sit down and call to get the details yet, but since she said he was fine I didn't have a big sense of emergency. If the message can be conveyed via txt msg, it couldn't be that harrowing. But I'm sure glad he's okay - I wouldn't have needed bad news this week - it's been a struggle to get through for me, really stressful overall.

For my birthday, Kenny's mom Linda and his grandparents took me to dinner at Home Town Buffet Saturday evening. It was quite the festivus :)

After we ate we went back to Marge & Stanley's for ice cream cake and presents. I got quite a haul! Marge & Stan (well, more Marge I'm sure) bought me a new Liz Claiborne purse that is very fun, and Linda got me a small MP3 player along with all the necessary accessories. It's super-cool, I've never had one before, and I'll be able to use it at the gym - as well as at work. She bought the speaker stand thing for me so I can plug it into that and get some really great sound. I need to read up about it and get it all figured out, but haven't had a chance to yet today.

The house is totally trashed, we've been steam cleaning the carpet and shit is absolutely everywhere as a result. The carpet smelled, I think my sick cat inadvertently peed the night she had her seizure, and it was killing me to walk into the room - I wanted to go sleep in a hotel the other night, I was so sick of dealing with everything. But then I realized that might be a little extreme and now we're cleaning the carpet.

I would have to say it hasn't been the most carefree birthday week to date, but since we're leaving for Vegas on Friday I wouldn't complain too much. Well, I think it's too late for that, so instead I won't complain anymore. Anymore than two more things...or so. But nothing more for right now, how's that? I'm exhausted, blogging off and going to clean the kitchen, which is a disaster since I embarked on a whole cupcake baking and decorating extravaganza for my birthday treats for work tomorrow. Why couldn't I just buy bagels?? Well, because I bought these really cute decorating bottles from Pampered Chef and wanted to try them out, so there ya go.

Peace, and I hope we're all fortunate enough to make it to another birthday!

What a Difference A Day Makes!

Well, Newfie is back to perky tonight! She was really bad this morning, I had to syringe some water into her mouth and carry her to her litter box before I went to work. I reported in to the vet this morning and he asked that we bring her down right away. Kenny zipped her down there on his way to work. Lucky for us (and Newfie) that he works a little later in the day and was available to do so - I've been so busy this week at work that there is no way I would have had the time this morning.

Her insulin was checked and it was a little high, 154, but I'd rather have that than have it be so low she crashes again. I was especially worried since she had no interest in eating - she hadn't eaten since Saturday, I think. I was expecting very dire news from the vet this evening.

Kenny picked her up on his way home from work, and she must have cashed in one of her 9 Lives - she is SO MUCH BETTER tonight - it's amazing! Her head is perky, her eyes are bright, she had a few little nibbles of some cat food and licked the water. I think she still needs a little more to drink, I'll be squirting some into her mouth shortly just to make sure, and I will carry her to the litter box again tonight just in case, but it's quite a turn around. Very relieved for the moment!

Cat Crisis Update

Well, we're all still standing. Newfie is home right now, but it's tentative at best. She has some serious issues going on, but right now we're focused on getting her to eat again - she has an Ellipsis or something that is pronounced they way I just spelled, and it has something to do with a lot - I'm talking waaaay too much - gas in her intestines, which is causing her discomfort, resulting in her lack of appetite. Her lack of appetite causes her blood sugar to dip, which in turn causes all the other problems - cold body, lethargy, glassy-eyed stare, weak in the limbs. It's a terrible domino effect.

Our first step is to work on getting her to eat again, so I brought her home because it's particularly hard to get a cat to eat under the duress of being in the cat hospital. She has a medication that will hopefully help to stimulate the appetite, which will get the intestines to work again. That's the hope.

Once we get her eating again, we're going to work on her insulin levels. The vet is hoping by Friday, so we're not anticipating a rapid change in behavior right now.

The most concerning part - and the one that we're going to address last - is some spots creeping up into her lungs that may be cancer. Cancer that would be stemming from some other area, of which we're not sure (and probably won't be). Veterinary medicine is a lot of guess work, probably because the animals can't really tell ya what's hurting where.

So that might be the long-term problem, but right now - today - we're focusing on keeping her warm (her body temperature was dangerously low yesterday) and trying to get her to eat drink and poop again. I've built her a cat tent out of blankets by a chair and the heat vent, it's creating a very nice little warm cocoon for her. Now if she'd only have a bite to eat...

Oh yeah - Twinkle hissed at her when she came home and the other cats treated her like they'd never seen her before. It wasn't a very friendly homecoming for her.

Cat in Crisis; Cat Mommy in Meltdown

Newfie is in the Animal Emergency Hospital at the moment. I believe she had a blood sugar crisis, not exactly sure what type of problem, but I do know it's not good. She spent last night "spitting up," for lack of a better description. She coughed and gagged most of the night, but nothing ever really came up, other than some spittle. Nothing too concerning on it's own.

While she's never been considered active, today her inactivity stood out. She was okay at breakfast, she got her insulin shot but didn't want to eat. Not too unusual for her. Tonight she was sitting under Kenny's feet while he was recording some commercials for the radio show tonight and he noticed she was extraordinarily lethargic. He picked her up and took her to the water dish and she peed all over the floor - her bladder just gave out. Kenny's so good to her, he really is a very good cat daddy, and he cleaned it up and got her some food, trying to raise her blood sugar and help her snap out of it. I was on the phone with the Emergency Clinic.

They gave me directions and I drove while Kenny held her. She was limp in his arms and I was verging on slight hysteria. We got her in there and the guy at the desk was on the phone with someone else and another family that looked bereft was waiting at the other end of the counter. Well, Newfie started convulsing in Kenny's arms while we were waiting, and I completely lost it - I was crying and screaming, a bunch of people rushed out of the back and whisked her away. The other family ran out of there very quickly when all that started - don't know if it was Newfie convulsing or my hysterical sobbing that caused them to race out as fast as they could, but it was a very dramatic situation going on there. I am officially horrible during a cat crisis - I totally fall apart.

So now she is spending the night at the emergency clinic, she's receiving an IV sugar drip, a drip for her slight dehydration, and who knows what else. Her blood work came back somewhat promising, nothing too askew, but I had another little breakdown because we think she may have gone blind from the seizure. She was moving her head back and forth in a really odd pattern and didn't blink no matter what we did - not focusing on anything, either. The doctor told me that often that straightens out once the swelling in the brain goes down. I hope so, I am keeping it together for the moment by clinging to that note of hope. No sense in having a meltdown until I know it's warranted.

I have to pick her up in the morning between 7 and 7:30 and take her to my regular vet. I'm so happy that I have a presentation at work at 10:00 a.m. tomorrow - what lucky timing for me. Especially if they give me some bad news to cope with. I am just drained, very stressful situation for me. I'm just thankful I have Kenny to stand by me during these times - he's a very, very good cat daddy and has been a very solid strength when I've had cat calamities.

I hope for good news with the dawn of a new day, and that this was just an isolated incident and she'll be back on track.

Happy Birthday Week to Me!

I kicked ass and took names today. And thy name is Pilates Reformer. I've been dutifully working out with that little number since it kicked my ass last weekend. It's interesting how quickly the body responds and reacts, increasing endurance to meet the challenge. Well, lest you get the wrong impression from my bold ass-kickin' statement, I guess a more accurate description would be that I was able to do the entire cardio workout without a break, and get myself up off the machine in a much more graceful manner than previous attempts. I still had to struggle a bit, I wasn't able to just sit right up, but I didn't fear I would be trapped on the machine until a rescue attempt was made. So that's quite a bit of progress after five workouts. And I even felt myself saunter a bit as I left the gym today, there was a bit of a swivel to my hips that could almost have been a lithe movement. Maybe, from a distance.

It was a full day today, taking care of bidnez' as my brah-thuz say. Is that racist? Well, whatever, I'm not playing those politically correct/incorrect games. First Amendment, People! Most disappointing and frustrating was the crazy cellphone drama. Cellphone and drama goes hand-in-hand, I believe. I took the phones down to make the switch of phone numbers (I want to keep my number from Verizon, Kenny's happy with his new number), get my credit for the cancellation of the early termination fee I will incur from Verizon, and get a few features of my new phone straightened out.

Well, my new, state-of-the-art Razor 2 is incapable of sending picture messages to my email - instead I have to send them to a T-Mobile account and do my photo thing from there. A minor inconvenience, I guess. The distressing and disillusioning part of the transaction was having to go from the kiosk where I purchased the phone and entered into the contract, over to the corporate area to figure out the emailing problems. The kids at Corporate told me that even though the kiosk said "Authorized T-Mobile Dealer" and I was able to enter into a contract, and my phone has a "Product of T-Mobile" insignia on it, they don't honor any of it because they said the Authorized Dealers aren't Certified Dealers, and are "shysters" or some nonsense. Now, they had my phone for sale right there in their corporate store. Whatever, it just left a sour taste in my mouth, and I've decided if this doesn't work smoothly, I will pay cancellation fees and disband with all cellphones. I just won't have a phone, it would be much less stressful that way. No one calls me anyway. Call me at work or send me an email if you need to contact me.

I'm getting a little ahead of myself, but that will be the road I travel should I encounter a bump - or a pothole - along the new T-Mobile route. I've wasted too many hours of my life with cellphone issues, particularly compared to the ratio of enjoyment I get out of it. I miss the ways of yesterday, times were simple and people didn't have to walk around with phones stuck to their heads, talking while they're taking a shit in the bathroom stall next to you. What the hell is that about anyway?? When did it become socially acceptable to talk on the phone while you were taking a shit/piss?? Especially girls. I know I hold girls to certain higher standards, but seriously - we are supposed to be somewhat sugary and spicey, aren't we? How does shitting in public and talking on the phone at the same time factor into that equation?

Now the question that begs an answer: Were vibrating razors invented so women could masturbate in the shower, too?

Friday night was the Keith Urban concert. It was really good, he sounds great live and our seats were really good, parallel to the stage. We could have reached out and touched him when he performed on the little wing that jutted out from the stage. He's very interactive with the audience, jumping down and singing among the crowd. He didn't do that on our side, but it was still cool - he got pretty well groped and I think was rethinking his decision after he was in the thick of it.

Today we shopped, had a quick dinner at Chipolte, and then saw Dan In Real Life. I expected more from it, but it was enjoyable enough. Plodded along in some parts, a little ridiculously coincidental in others, but overall good enough. Can definitely wait for rental on this one, though. It was worth our price of admission, but that's because that's free. Not $20 worthy. I wanted to buy Sicko at Walmart today, but it was $20 and I'm just not paying that much for a DVD. My top dollar for a DVD is $13.94, which is what I paid for We Are Marshall. Not $19.94, that's more expensive than 2 tickets at the theater and a small popcorn. Crazy talk.

Wednesday is the big Garth Brooks "concert" and I'm really looking forward to that, we're going with some fun people.

It's Birthday Week!! I almost forgot to even give myself a shout-out!! Happy Birthday To Me! The girls from Product Managment proposed going out for the birthday on Friday, so that should be fun, they're always a good time and so easy to hang out with - it's just good fun and not a lot of drama.

Wow, did October and now November fly by. I have one month to get my book going. An email to Rob today rather inspired me off on a new tangent. Maybe something will materialize from it, maybe not.

I could say so many more words, but won't. Peace!

The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Oh, sure, she looks innocent enough. So who would'a guessed how she would spend a Sunday afternoon when she had a few loose hours to herself. Stanley (the grandfather, not the cat or our nasty neighbor) was at a clambake at Mapleside Farms with Kenny and me, along with some other random family members. Margie, having no use for clams or chicken, passed and stayed home.

What to do, what to do?? ~finger tapping on forehead~ "I know!" Marge said to herself, "I'll watch a little PORN!" Margie's 87, and Kenny's grandmother, by the way. She'd been hankering to see My Night in Paris, the Paris Hilton sex-scandal tape, so Linda obliged and ordered it up for her for $3 from Ebay. Good ol' Ebay! Stanley had no interest in it, so Margie was courteous and waited until she had some "alone" time. While we were at a clambake, Margie was watching some bearded clam action. Bad, bad pun. But nevertheless. Marge watched it from beginning to end, and has deemed Paris, "a Pig." I asked her why it was wrong for Paris to just want to express her love in a physical manner, but Marge wasn't buying it. She's still "a Pig." It took her the entire hour and a half to determine that : ) Yes, she watched the entire porno, which is more than I've ever managed - 10 minutes is usually plenty.

Marge also pointed out that Rick Solomon's weiner is HUGE - 2 fistfuls and still some left. She demonstrated the size on a straw while we were at Wendy's. No wonder I love this family! I've asked if we can watch it on Thanksgiving so I can see it - ya know, start a new Porn on Thanksgiving tradition. Nothing brings a family together like a good porno.

It's my most favorite day of the year today - Daylight Savings, when we fall back an hour. Back in my younger days, I never missed the opportunity to be in a bar with my friends on this very special day. Just when you thought it was time for the fun to end, there was a whole extra hour for more shenanigans - and then the extra hour to sleep in the next morning, too! A glorious time, as I do love my sleep. Is it called Daylight Savings in both the Spring and Fall? Cause at some point it's not saving daylight, it's losing it - isn't it?? Very confusing, but the extra hour of sleep is not.

I'm happy to know that I still 'got it' with some of my rituals of youth. Last night Ken and I went all the way Downtown on a Saturday night, just like the young kids do :) We met my friends Rob and Beth at The Improv after they enjoyed a fancy dinner at The Ritz. They had Ultimate Date Night, we had a slice of it. Kenny and I enjoyed an informal dinner at Rock Bottom Brewery before the show, where we swilled some fine beer and I ventured into a meal I normally avoid, Sashami Ahi Tuna. I keep trying to like the raw fish, and while I do like the flavor of the tuna, it all breaks down for me on the visual. Kenny ate most of the big raw pieces of tuna and he shared his asiago chicken dish with me so it worked out. I'm not ready to stick a whole wad of raw fish in my mouth just yet. Anyway, I'm surprisingly off topic again. We had a really fun night at the comedy show and had about $17 worth of laughs, I would say.

So. Another coffee pot fiasco this morning.

I must say, this totally infringed on my enjoyment of Daylight Savings Morning. I sprang out of bed like a spring chicken at the crack of 9:30 this morning (the clock said 10:30, I felt so on top of the day!). Plans were to sip a hot steaming cuppa coffee, leisurely blog and check the 'net, throw on some sweats and head to the gym for an hour and it would all be accomplished before noon. The best laid plans of Mice & Men.....

The first pot (yes, first) leaked out all over the place and as I was cursing and cleaning, Kenny came into the kitchen and started to "hump" me from behind. As I'm cleaning up the mess. So he got a wet washcloth to the head and was put on clean-up duty. The mess was brought under control and Round 2 of coffee making ensued. We let it do it's thing and when we checked on the progress, it was a bigger mess than the first time. Kenny took apart the lid, it must have had a clog of grounds in the dripper thing and was jamming or something. While he worked on that I headed to the basement and brought up my trusty old Mr. Coffeepot, which I'm keeping as an In Case of Coffee Emergency backup for situations like this morning. Well, we tried one more pot with the cleaned out dripper and we were finally met with success. But my "saved" hour of daylight was gone. Instead of my lofty visions for the morning, we settled for breakfast from McDonald's and skipped the workout for the time being.

I'm actually heading out to the gym in a few minutes, much to the protest of my thighs. I tried the Pilates Reformer machine yesterday, which promises a lithe, ballerina-like body in as little as 30 days. It seemed simple enough, you bounce around on a horizontal trampoline-like mechanism, which is hard to adequately explain, so I won't attempt to. But I did it for the duration of the DVD and it seemed stupid and simple, until about half way through, and then....well, I had worked up quite a sweat and my legs were in trouble. It's deceptively simple. I am heading back over there and going to try 'er again, I want to see if in fact a ballerina does reside beneath my skin. Kenny says no, not the way I clomp around. Thirty days and we'll see :)

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Jay-zus H. Christ. I just got back from the gym, Day 2 of the Reformer. I am not exaggerating here, I almost had to yell for assistance to get up off the machine when I was done. I could not hoist myself into an upright position, my abdominals and legs were not cooperating. It was sheer strength of determination - and "throwing" myself into a pulley to leverage myself up - that got me up off that machine sans assistance. Good Lord. But, I prevailed. I believe the Hidden Ballerina doesn't really want to come out yet, but I will continue to coax her along.

It's going to be a busy month. I have the Keith Urban concert with Jill next Friday, the Garth Brooks movie night on the 14th, a birthday night out with the girls on the 16th (I hope this time I don't end up puking in a parking lot) and then the holiday and Vegas, baby! What a fun month for me!

I missed Meggan's Famous Pumpkin Pie last week, but I'm hoping to enjoy an entire pie myself before the season is over. Pumpkin Pie is a season unto itself, isn't it? Hint, hint, Meggan...

Much like the ongoing coffee pot drama, I am still plagued with cell phone woes. I cannot figure out how to send pictures to my email, it asks for all sorts of "server information" and whatnot, and it's just perplexing. Also, I need to switch it to my old phone number, I keep getting lots of wrong numbers with the new number they assigned. Annoying. It was on my agenda to go back up to T-Mobile today, but I don't think I'm going to make it there. We're heading to Champps to watch the football game at 4:00. Should be fun.

We went to the new house yesterday. It's quite stately.

I'm not sure I could ever imagine living here, not that I've been actually invited to move in yet :) It's very big, though. Linda is going to put a big wooden deck across the back, top and bottom, and it has a really cool enclosed sunporch with skylights, which is my favorite part of the house. Kenny loved the elevator, he kept playing in it. We couldn't convince Marge to take a ride. It still has residents in the lower unit, they're moving out at the end of the month and then it will be vacant for a bit while it gets some updating.

I just informed Kenny that I'm not marrying him, he's too messy, and he had the balls to play the Who's Driving The Messiest Car card. And then he methodically pointed out all of my shit heaped on the coffee table, which was about half of the shit. So we've determined that we're both slobs. We need a Wife. He said I can choose to not marry him, but not for the "you're too messy" reason.

And there's my cue to quit burning daylight on the computer and go get some stuff done around the house. Or read a book and/or nap with cats. It can go either way in the next ten minutes.

Peace, and enjoy your extra hour of life!