Whoreticulture

The potted flowers and planted vegetables are demanding, insisting on water EVERY day, not every other day; if their demands are not met, they greet me the next morning like petulant little children with droopy frowny-faces. Sheesh. Don't they know there are plants starving for water in Africa, who would be GRATEFUL to get a drink of fresh clean water every other day?? Well, I've succumbed to their demands for the most part (had to revive the pansy's with a late-night drink and another one first thing this morning), but it's paid off:

A baby 'mater on the vine!! Angels are singing, trumpets are trumpeting! The fruits of my labors have been born!

Now if we could only decide if this is a weed or a plant:

It's the tallest thing in the flower bed, and neither Timmy nor I remember planting something of this nature, but it looks like something that may sprout a flower at some point. Kenny insists it's a weed, as it's off-center and hardy, and thinks it's funny that we water and weed around our weed. We have too much invested in it now to just carelessly pull it up, so if it is a weed we'll see just how big it gets by September - I wonder if it will grow 5 ft tall? Probably, with all the nurturing it's receiving.

Saturday both Geri and I had appointments at John Roberts in Solon. I had hair and she had a mani-pedi scheduled around the same time. Boy, we lead hard lives! I surprised myself with directing Sarah to short-hair me. So now I'm shorn, but it's cute. I was just over the attempt at long hair. It felt straggly against my neck. Kenny was .... surprised. I had Sarah extra-blond it for him. It still looks practically the same in front.

After our appointments Geri and I tried to grab a light snack at Blue Canyon in Twinsburg - I've heard her and Frannie talk about it and I was excited to try it. There was a bit of a snafu as we were trying to sit on the patio, a girl told us we could sit and eat out there and then a rather snarky waitress said it didn't open for another hour and we could just have soda.

Eventually they figured it out and we got snacks with out sodas, and we enjoyed the nice afternoon before heading over to see the new Bowen residence that's under construction. Wow. As nice as I imagined, it's going to be quite the house. While at John Roberts we did tell Sarah we'd make a salon in the basement for her, let her move in and I'd buy her a car if we got our hair done for work every morning and for special events. Geri's house does have the perfect salon area - she could fit both Sarah and me, and Sarah's new car that I would buy her, and no one would be stepping on anyone's toes!

Kenny had a karaoke show on Saturday at Briarwood Golf Course. I tease him about how "hard" his job is, playing music and listening to people sing, but this is what he has to deal with every time:

The singing is worse than the stage appearance. And loud. And off-key and screechy. I stayed and had some beers and a hotdog, then I was happy to leave around 10:30. No job is as easy as it appears, and I think dealing with drunk non-singers for 4-hour stints would rank up there with fighting fires. Well, maybe :)

We saw a great movie this past week, Mr. Brooks. It's one of best I've seen in a very long time and well-worth the price of admission to a movie theater. Very suspenseful.

Our major mission for today is to go shopping for a new coffee maker. I've tried researching them online, but I'm not paying $26/year for a subscription to Consumer Reports. Our Bunn went to the treelawn, it broke and the water wouldn't come out of the reservoir, so you'd have to continuously add water to it to get 1 pot, while the bulk of it stayed in the machine. It was $100, so I wasn't thrilled to pitch it and now I want to be more cautious with my next purchase. Currently we have a $38 one from Wal*mart, and it's getting returned today. It's a piece of crap and I haven't had a good cuppa coffee in a month.

I finished reading Fall on Your Knees, it was a excellent. I'm happy to know that I can finish a book, it just has to be a good one and not necessarily a piece a crap on the bestseller list.

On Meggan's recommendation, I watched my Tivo'd episodes of Army Wives, which just started on the Lifetime channel. Now, most people scoff at anything on that channel, but I have to say it was really good! I watched both taped episodes back-to-back and can't wait for the next one.

Today is Father's Day, so to all you Father's out there enjoy your day. We're celebrating in the traditional manner at Hometown Buffet. I guess that's as good as any thing to jumpstart a diet plan.

Peace and if you get the choice to sit it out or dance...just keep your drunk-ass in your chair.

More Cow Bell

At this particular moment in my life, we are out of toilet paper in our house. On a Sunday morning, with coffee in hand, that spells disaster and makes me ponder how we got to this point. Luckily, Timmy usually keeps up with all the necessities of life and I'm sure he's got a square to spare :)

So what were we doing that the household sundries were allowed to get to the point of extinction without us doing something about it before now? With Kenny gone on his trip to Tunica, I was quite busy! I caught up on Monday night with my Aunt Caroline and our (and my mom's) friend Brenda. I chose Luchitas for a leisurely Mexican fiesta, but upon our arrival we discovered they are closed on Monday's. Luckily, we can always find somewhere to eat so we chose our backup plan and headed over to Outback Steakhouse. We had a really nice 4-hour dinner, chatting about everything from family and relationships to politics and the environment. It was great to see them and I'm looking forward to doing it again this summer!

Tuesday night Emily and I met Kristin B. at Brio in Legacy Village. I had to make it a quickie because Kenny was flying in from Tunica with an ETA of 7:00 p.m. Kristin just had surgery and we were meeting her to say, "hi" and to check out the goods - she looks fabulous! She had breast reduction surgery (which I think is a crime!), but I can see her point, because, well...her points were in the way all the time. And she said they were incredibly heavy. Anyway, her new set looks fabulous, but I'm still hoping to get a peek of them in their nakey splendor. But that's just because I'm a voyeur.

Kenny didn't even unpack from his trip since Wednesday we were leaving for 3 days in Niagara for Birthday Week. He threw some fresh skivvies into his suitcase and we headed out Wednesday afternoon. We got a bit of a later start than we would have liked because the guys who installed the central air were here in the morning to finish hooking up the thermostat. Now it's all in place and I just need to touch up the paintwork in the living room.

The drive to Niagara was very smooth, with us arriving around 5:00 p.m. or thereabouts. I wasn't worried about getting up there later than normal, as Geri pointed out, the later you get there the more money you're saving. The only source of concern was to make it in time to see Huey Lewis, who was performing at Fallsview. The Heart of Rock & Roll was Still Beatin'. We had front-row tickets on Wednesday and 3rd row tickets for Thursday - it was a double-dose of Huey for Birthday Week. Both shows were really good, but Kenny thinks Huey was drunk on the first night - and he probably was!

I used to think Kenny was Huey's #1 Fan, but I was happy to see there was someone even more off the charts there, which ratcheted Kenny down into the more normal zone. This guy had a Rod-Stewart haircut and he was just out-of-control nuts at the concert, waving his arms and jumping around. I would have taken a photo, but they were strictly prohibited and they were not kiddin' about it. This guy - who we thought was a girl, so we nicknamed him Dude Look Like a Lady, was also there both nights, and he had sunglasses for Huey to wear during the Back in Time finale. Both nights. I bet Huey just loved donning some nuts sweaty black sunglasses, but he did it and then gave them back to the guy both times.

We supported Paris Hilton by staying at the Hilton hotel attached to Fallsview. It was a GREAT hotel, with the best beds & pillows ever. We could see both sets of Falls from our window:

You can even see the rainbow in the above photo - which I attributed to be an omen of good luck for us!

So I guess the rainbow was an omen of luck for Kenny; he won $5000 on one hand of poker!! He was playing a newer card game called Ultimate Texas Hold 'Em and had $10 on a bonus-bet, which paid 500/1 for a Royal Flush - and he got one!! I was in our hotel napping before the 2nd night of Huey, so he had to celebrate his big moment with strangers. But just as well, I think it was my unlucky ass not hanging around him which made him win. That, or he won because I rubbed his money on the Christmas card from Jill of Virgin Guadalupe that's still hanging on my fridge. I'm sure that had something to do with it - although it doesn't explain my usual non-luck, 'cause I rubbed all my money all over Guadalupe and didn't win $5000.

While we were in Niagara, Geri and Rusty headed to California for a nice vacation, travelling like Movie Stars. They had hotel reservations at the Belair (if I remember correctly) and planned on shopping and site-seeing on Rodeo Drive. Can't wait to hear all about it on Monday!

Jill and Len headed up to Toronto on Friday, and we tried to meet up with them at Seneca on their way up and our way home. We missed 'em, but Jill was there for about an hour and won $500 on a machine. We were there for a really short time, I'm just not a fan of Seneca. I think they put a maloik on me the last time I was there because I called them Indians instead of Native Americans. Apparently they don't like that. Whatever. Too many names that are politcally incorrect for me to keep up with. All I know is, you can call me whatever you want and I really don't care. Sticks and stones and all that crap.

Yesterday Kenny and I went to the movies and saw Knocked Up, then headed to the St. Anthony's of Padua yearly festival. We had gyros, veggies and shared a funnel cake before heading to the basement level to play Let It Ride poker. We lost, but it was nominal, and I plan on writing it off as a church donation next year :)

Last night Kenny had a show at the Blue Moose and I watched The Queen. It was excellent, and I cried all the way through it, much as I did when Diana died.

I was suprised to see that I don't have any tomatos on the vine yet. It's been an entire week - I should be making fresh sauces by now!

My friend Heidi gave me a really good book, Fall on Your Knees, which I started reading yesterday. I was up til 4 a.m. reading last night; I can't wait to have time to get back to it again today.

Looking back on the activities of the week, I can see there just was no time to buy toilet paper. Sometimes it's just that busy.

Peace, and enjoy safe summer travels!

Happy 39th, Kenny!

Kenny turned 39 today! To celebrate, he took a trip with his mom to Tunica, Mississippi for some pre-gambling before our trip to Niagara this coming Wednesday. I couldn't go, have too much to do at work this week to take the entire thing off, but I'm glad he's able to go. He doesn't read the blog (he says he lives it, he doesn't need to read about it after the fact), but the wishes are here for him anyway! The Girl Cat (yes, that's what we ended up calling Reba) took a rest with me in bed this afternoon while we watched our television addiction, HGTV. Today we watched 35 Things To Do To Sell Your House. Now, neither The Girl Cat nor I 1./Are selling a house and 2./Have a house to sell. But we watched it together anyway.

Today is one of those non-descript days that is just kinda "here." It's trying to rain, which would be nice because I spent the better part of yesterday planting a few tomato and pepper plants. Good Lord, that was exhausting. I had to dig up the top layer of sod, and the area next to the garage that I choose as the gardening spot was an overgrown weed den, with wild and near-dead rose bushes that I had to cut down. I have 2 full cans of nothing but dead rose bushes and weeds. That area has never been maintained much. Timmy came back and asked what the hell I was doing, since no one sees it back there anyway. Good point. But it's that whole pride-of-living-space crap that takes over and makes me work hard for really, naught. Kenny warned me that small critters would eat my hard work, and damned if he wasn't right. He had a wedding to work Saturday night so he didn't see my handiwork until Sunday morning, and wouldn't ya know it, some little f'ing critter totally uprooted one of my tomatoes.

In light of the plant predicament, I stopped at Lowe's after I took Linda & Kenny to the airport in search of some critter-ridder material. Now, knowing I'd be installing whatever solution I purchased sans assistance, my choices were limited. I ended up buying a couple of small trellis things and some deer netting, with anchors to secure it around the bottom. It actually seems to look okay, I hope it does the trick or I will be sorely disappointed (I stress the sore part) with my gardening efforts. After I bought soil, fertilizer, netting, trellis, plant stakes, stake tape, etc., my 5 tomatoes and 4 pepper plants probably cost me $100. I'm sure I could have bought a whole season of tomatoes from the local farmer for $100. Problem is, we don't have local farmers in Parma. I guess I'm supposed to feel pride of a job, done. Instead I just feel sore and achy.

My baby birds have flown the coop, I believe. I didn't even get to tell them goodbye. It was a very poignant moment this morning when I realized they were all gone. At least I'm pretty sure they are. I was out on the porch and the Papa Bird didn't swoop me, the way he always has when we step out there. He was very protective of the babes. I read online that they like cherries, so we had been leaving some on the banister each day and they loved them. Now we have dark red poop in the driveway, but it was worth it to know that maybe we helped the little fellas get a start in life. I know the Mama & Papa were shoulder-to-shoulder with me yesterday as I was turning up the earth for the garden; it was a bug and worm buffet for them and they took full advantage. It was exciting to watch them, I hope someone uses the nest next season. We're going to put a "For Lease, Move-In Condition" sign up by the nest to entice in another family next year :)

Rob became an official Retiree this past Thursday. No more working for The Man for him, now he'll be working for The Little Man, taking orders from Baby Lance. That's a job I would hate and I would suck at it!

Vicki starts her new job with Cocks Cable .. I mean Cox Cable, bright and early Monday morning. Yeah, I won't get tired of making Cock jokes. Too bad Susan Cox (a girl from work) doesn't work at Cox Cable - that would be a whole lotta cox on her business card! Jill, Geri, Fran and I met Vicki for one last lunch hurrah on Friday at Don Pablos. I'm sure it won't be the last, but it will be the last where she gets to drink Dos Equix at noon on a weekday!

I bought myself a Bosch drill today while I was at Lowe's. It seems really girl-friendly. Now I can complete all my household projects that the Mailman seems to have forgotten about since the 24-year-old girlfriend entered the scene. Stupid 24-year-old.

We had a new furnace with central air installed this past week - hooray!!! It's a cool 72 in here now - no more sweating our Cox off! It struggled to cool the place down, being upstairs certainly doesn't help, but it finally got the heat and humidity under control and was able to maintain the cooler temp. The guy has to finish up some of the thermostat work I think Monday, but I have no idea for sure. I'll be at work, so I don't know when/how he's going to get in here, but I wasn't in charge of the plans, I just enjoy the cool air. I'm excited that slowly, but surely, some of the amenities I love are coming back to my world.

My nephew Justin graduated Friday night. My sister-in-law didn't call to tell me the details of the event until mid-afternoon on Friday, and I ended up working late and wasn't able to go. I'll be at his party on the 30th, and I guess the important part isn't being there as much as it is giving money :)

Kristen and Emily joined me on a jaunt to the dirty bookstore on Brookpark Road for lunch last week. I had to make my annual pilgrimage to get a dirty book for my friend Joanne who left for vacation on Thursday. Her and her friend feel naughty when they have a book with cox on vacation, but she's too embarrassed to buy it herself. It was Emily's first trip into a dirty bookstore, and she was rather shocked at some of the paraphernalia available for all sorts of deviants. Emily did say that she was going to go in and ask if they had a fitting room, which I found absolutely hysterical. She chickened out, but it would have been a classic moment had she been able to pull it off.

I added some new plants to my cute backporch, it looks even more awesome.

I'm going to go charge up my drill and get busy. Kenny will come home on Tuesday and see an addition screwed onto the back of the house. I could be dangerous with all this power in my hands!

Peace and may the force be with you.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

My tooth fell out Friday night as I was flossing, getting ready to go out. Well, not actually my tooth, but a cap on a back molar. I'm lucky I didn't swallow it, although that would have been a really good story. The thing is, when I went to the dentist about 2 months ago, I mentioned that it was painful and he took an x-ray and said nothing was wrong. Now, it pops off. I rinsed with warm salt water and popped it back on there and went out anyway. I went to bed Friday night fearing that it would pop out while I slept and I'd choke to death on it. Now THAT would be a good story!


It was a really normal week. Work, home, t.v., sleep. I golfed on Thursday, still haven't gotten my swing back yet. It was fun night, though, so at least it was a best-ball scramble and I didn't have to swing every time - when my partner hit a good one I didn't even bother. We ended up winning the match, which was surprising, because we are really terrible. Even together we're not a strong golfer. Kenny and I need to get out there on the weekend so I can practice more.


We've discovered a bird's nest on our back porch, up where the downspout and the house form a "V." The mama bird is probably more than a little ticked off that this is the year I decided to make the porch usable space. She's probably been nesting out there for 8 years in peace, and now I take over. It was fun to sit out there and watch her feed the babies. I was quiet and didn't let any cats out there with me.



Cost me $59 to fill up my car this weekend. Whiskey Tango Foxtrot. Anyone want to take over my lease?? I see a small VW Bug in my future :).

Kenny and I spent the better part of yesterday visiting my aunt & uncle. My cousin Connie and her family came out and we celebrated her birthday. I had ordered a birthday cake to take as my dessert contribution and it ended up being this HUGE monstrosity of a cake with pink and orange frosting. It was pretty, but just absolutely the wrong size for a party of eight. It was embarrassingly big, but as Connie pointed out, "There's no shame in a big cake." Lesson learned when ordering from Beckers in the future: downsize.

It was the first time I've seen my aunt since my surgery last year and at the end of the evening she said she had to ask me a personal question. Now, anyone who knows me, knows that nothing is personal - I volunteer more info than anyone wants to know - and will show ya anything on my body if it adds to the story! So anyway, she wanted to know if I had a boob job, and I have to admit, I would ask the same question. They are starting to hoop out of my D-cups, and I believe growing larger with every piece of cake I eat. But the answer is no; no boob job. All me. Every last heaving, undulating ounce of them.

I apparently lost my mind over the weekend, as I do about once a year, and thought it was a good idea to get fake nails applied. It's been 2 days and I've broken the thumbnail and am struggling to type. Maybe I can deal with them through summer vacations. I even had Geri's refrain bouncing round in my head saying, "Just say no" to the fake nails, but I didn't listen. Shop in haste, repent at leisure.

I'm supposed to give my Icebreaker speech on Tuesday for Toastmasters, but Long Holiday Weekend Girl does not want to work on it so I will be sending an email tomorrow to cancel myself off the agenda. Another day for that.

We had a cookout at Kenny's grandmother's today. It was really nice, as usual, but we got home late and it's now after 11:00, so I'm wrapping this up for the week. I don't have any good pics to post (unlike the Product Management Girls, who went out over the weekend and had what appears to be out-of-control fun with pictures to document it all!) so that's it for now.

Peace and enjoy a nice short work-week!

Miss a week, miss alot

My grandmother Sophie turned 90 last weekend - go, Sophie!! I was busy getting all the details in place and getting her little bio written up for the party that I had for her on Saturday the 12th at Mapleside Farms in Medina. It turned out really nice, about 30 guests, with good food, a lot of catching-up, and a great cake. Nothing more important at a birthday party than a great cake! Becker's in Fairview Park always does a fabulous job. Her little life story that I wrote was also a success, it made one of the waitresses cry, she had to leave the room. Below are some random photos from the party.

The cake:

Melinda, Trevor & Sophie (Trevor's giving Melinda 'rabbit ears'):
Sophie & Me:
My cousin Dawn & her husband, Earl with his son K.C.:

Kenny & his family: Marge, Stanley & Linda:

My Aunt Pat & Uncle Sonny (my mom's brother):

By the time I got home from the party Saturday, I was exhausted; I put on my pajamas around 5:00 p.m., Kenny left to run the sound for a wedding, and I passed out in a coma until about 9:00 p.m. that night. I got up, watched a rerun of The 40 Year Old Virgin (maybe that's titled after me!), and was back in bed and slept til 11:00 a.m. Sunday morning. I was wiped out.

Since the party, I've been on a steady diet of leftover cake. I believe I've had a piece each night after dinner, finally finishing it up tonight while Kenny & I watched Die Hard 2 & 3. We're gearing up for the 4th one which comes out in June -I had to catch up. We just now finished watching March of the Penguins. Well, I kinda half-watched; it was sloooooow. In the meantime, I got my My Space page up & running. I signed up for one months ago, but decided I liked this avenue for blogging, but then today I decided to have both. If you're so inclined you can also view my My Space page at http://www.myspace.com/tracyeoh.

This past week I've been working on our little back porch, getting it all cleaned up and ready for summer. I painted the interior aluminum siding, vacuumed & scrubbed the carpet, potted some plants and brought up my outdoor furniture. It is all ready for reading, writing or just enjoying a cocktail. I love my little cute extra space!

Friday night Kenny, Timmy, Tina & I had tickets to see George Carlin at The Playhouse. We didn't actually remember buying them, so Kenny booked a show for himself at Swingos, running sound for Danny Lee's karaoke. Since I didn't want to go and be a 5th wheel with Timmy & Tina, they scrounged up a date for me - the Hot Mailman!! I was very excited to have a faux-date with Chris the Mailman (which is his full name - at least for me)!

Unfortunately, he was a perfect gentleman all evening, even after I suggested making out a little bit during the terrible opening performance. Ya know, not because I wanted to or anything, just more as a time-filler :) I don't mind him being my faux-boyfriend. I think I'm as close as he has to a faux-wife - I cook and feed him whenever he's around. He's a confirmed bachelor so I'm as good as he's going to get for a wife. Plus, he likes my boobs. I think those are the two most important things a faux-wife can offer.

Carlin was good and I saw Meggan, her sister Amy, Anastasia Diamond-Ortiz (her name is so great it must always be used in it's entirety) and her husband Emilio on the way into The Playhouse. It was very fun to see them, although I did forget to bring Anastasia Diamond-Ortiz's couch pillows - I found a large bag in the basement with them inside - one more thing to get rid of in the basement!

Today was very exciting garage-cleaning day. We got a lot accomplished and have quite a bit of stuff lined up for Planet Aid or the trash. I had thought of buying a shed for the backyard, but don't think we'll actually need one now that I've weeded out some of the crap I was hanging onto - for instance, a box of carwash rags. Like I'm ever going to do that again in the driveway. At least not here. Timmy tried to convince me to sell my bicycle, he is not optomistic that it will ever go to the park with me on it again. Especially with my non-park-going boyfriend. I'm not sure I'm ready to part with it just yet.

I spoke with my Aunt Carolyn today, I haven't talked to her in far too long. We have plans to go out for dinner next Sunday. Tomorrow we have Kenny's other grandmother's birthday (not Marge, Grandmother Helen). She's Kenny's real father's mother. Helen doesn't get around well at all, we haven't seen her since Christmas. She's very religious so we're taking her a cross I bought from The Vatican when I was in Rome. I think she'll really like it.

Meggan got her remodeling project all wrapped up. She had a new tub and a tile job installed, then put on a coat of fresh paint - she is really happy with the way it turned out. Meggan's promised to send before & after photos, which, by the way she had to get by using some sort of Pi calculation to triangulate the photo off of the reflection in the mirror because the bathroom was too tiny for a straight-on shot. And that's just one more reason I want to marry her.

Geri's "old" house finally got a For Sale sign up in the front yard. She has her first open house on Sunday, hope it goes well. Her "new" house finally got actual stairs in the basement so she's able to go down there. She refused when it was just a ladder leading into a "black hole," as she put it. She made Rusty draw her pictures of what it looked like down there to determine where to put the lights - she just wasn't participating in going down there without steps!

I'm getting a little anxiety lately, Rob is officially retiring from AG at the end of this month and I'm not sure how I'm going to cope without our mindless IM's throughout the day. We have a very strong IM relationship! Since he'll be home taking care of that baby, he won't have time to log-on from home; I will be completely adrift without my Rob-Rudder to steer my course. He's my Rodder. Wow, that's bad. But I'll leave it in anyway. Rob, there's still time to change your mind and let it all be about me!

Jill and I had to find out about Vicki getting a new job from John in the parking lot at work on our way back from lunch. She'll be working for Cocks Cable...er...I guess that's Cox Cable. Have fun Vicki, and we hope to see you before you start there full-time!

Golf started for me a few weeks ago, it's been hard to get back in the swing of things - literally. My game is less than exciting at the moment, but hopefully it will straighten out before too much longer. I even bought a new stretching video to make me more "bendy" to hopefully help my game. So far, no luck.

Well, that's about it for this week. I didn't realize how many people actually read this weekly blather until I missed a posting last week - I'm not sure this was worth the wait.

Peace and have fun!

Fingered

I recently found this photo of Jill and me from my 20th year high school reunion we attended during the summer of '05. Wow, that's almost 2 years ago! We had SO MUCH fun at my reunion, in case the photo didn't allude to that. It was held at Michaud's Town & Country Club in Strongsville, where there's a number of party rooms that had weddings going on all over the place. We would find "dates," just random single guys, who took us into the receptions where we stayed for a bit, danced, got a free drink, had some cake, took a party favor, then moved on to another. We barely attended my own reunion, but we were there long enough for Jill to dirty-dance with a lesbian couple who announced their pending nuptials at the reunion. She gave them a bit of an ass-slapping on the dance floor and did some other gyrations which caused quite a stir. I hope the rumor with my high school is that I'm now a lesbian! At least I had a foxy "partner," and it's a much better rumor than the one that I had lost a leg in a car accident, which ran rampant at my 5th year reunion. I think everyone was shocked when I walked into my 10th on my own 2 feet. Anyway, I'd much rather have the gossip be that I'm a lesbian with a wild partner! If it's not going to be truthful, at least be titillating (Emily encourages the use of the word "titillating" as much as possible, so this one's for her).

The girls and I got together this past Friday for card night at Jill's. The conversation was OUT OF CONTROL and had me laughing so hard I was crying most of the evening. What a good outlet for stress - I hope everyone has a group of friends as fun as mine! I did ask Meggan to marry me as she's everything I am looking for in a wife: she bakes a great pie; she knows pi; she has nice cleavage; she knows that guys don't have pu....well....nevermind. That's an inside joke :) She turned me down, by the way, so for now I will retain my single status.

We had a full crowd for cards, with Chris Vargo getting out of the house and joining the festivities and Anastasia Diamond-Ortiz bringing her "plus one." She's pregnant with her first baby and looked fabulous! Additionally, her hair was super-soft, as soft as her dog Chloe O'Brien's fur - which is saying something. She's a librarian for the Cleveland library system and she's got this sexy stripper name, horned rimmed glasses and a whole "naughty librarian" vibe working for her. She also said she will read my friend Rob's book and give it a review - see, Rob, I work it for you every chance I get! Anastasia, the ISBN number is: 0-595-41488-5; recommend it for a book club or something! Rob is retiring in May and needs all the sales he can get.

The girls and I also warned Anastasia that she needs to be very cautious in naming her baby if it's a girl; with the last name of Diamond-Ortiz, the wrong first name could send that baby out of the womb in clear heels, swinging from a pole. Chiffon Diamond-Ortiz = stripper. Sparkles Diamond-Ortiz = stripper. I vowed to come up with a suitable list for her to choose from - I do feel like I should have some naming rights as that baby was most likely conceived on either the bed or the couch that Anastasia bought from me last fall. It's almost like I was there! How's that for a thought for you :)

I tend to lean towards pop-culture names, so my recommendation for a girl is Addison Isabella Diamond Ortiz or Sawyer Marshall Diamond Ortiz for a boy. I just made those up, they sound pretty good! Or you could go with Emelia for a girl, since your hubby is Emilo. That's pretty stinkin' cute, too! Well, whatever, I'd probably end up calling it The Small Baby or something like. Good luck and as always when someone's pregnant, "Better you than me." Ha!

Jill spent the evening reminiscing about high-school activities at Rajaland in Amherst. There really is a place called Rajaland, I googled it but could only come up with some fella's link about camping trips he's taken there in the 80's. Jill's reflections involved a bikini, a bag of Doritos and a boy. "Going to Rajaland" has been adopted as our new euphemism. We'll never eat Doritos in the same way again.

To explain a bit, the Doritos prompted a whole conversation because my snacks for card night were all purchased at the BP gas station on the way over to cards: Michelob Ultra, Doritos, and 2 bags of Twizzlers. It was a hillbilly feast! Hey, I was working late all week and had to do what I could.

Saturday morning Roger from First Impressions came over to see if he could fix my carpeting in my car. When I showed him the problem area he exclaimed, "Oh my God." I told him that wasn't really comforting as he is my only hope of getting it fixed. It really was that bad, though. He worked in the driveway for the better part of an hour, and I'm thrilled with the results:

In the top photo you can see the purplish-tint where the cleaner lifted the color; the bottom photo shows the near-perfect match of the dye. Roger's company is First Impressions, he does all types of interior repair including leather, vinyl, and of course carpet. He was inexpensive, and came to my home on a Saturday morning - how great is that!

I've got work to finish up before I go to bed tonight, so I'm logging off - although it was a very busy week and I could go on and on. But I won't or I'll never get to bed. I've got another 30 minutes or so of being insightful about greeting cards, so I can't use up all my words here. I did, however, finally get the pictures off the disk from the broken camera and have all sorts of fun shots from the cruise. Below are a few of them, one is for Rob because he said I never post of myself & Kenny. Which isn't true as I had one on there from Atlantic City, but this is a fun one of my crazy hair and cleavage.

Below are a few more from the trip. Can't wait to go again in September. Peace and be happy this week!

Another Month Passes

I certainly hope there's some truth to the quote, "April showers bring May flowers" because it will be nice to have a payoff for the rainy days we've had. It was a relatively nice month overall. I just don't know where the time goes - it literally does fly by, especially since I started my job in Product Insights. The days zip along and it's Friday before ya know it.

Nothing special enough to note this past week. Just did the typical t.v. shows throughout the week. Kenny's Ford Explorer was supposed to be ready for pick-up on Tuesday and it wasn't ready until Friday night. Things went a little hairy at the pick-up, they discovered their error of rolling tax & title into the selling price and wanted the difference. Now, I don't believe they could have actually gotten away with that as we had a signed contract, but we really weren't trying to screw them so we were okay with making good on it - although I did put up a bit of a stink to let them know it wasn't just okay. They reworked the paperwork and it came back with an additional $250 more than we were expecting the reworked numbers to be, it's for a "standard" delivery fee that all cars - new & used - have to pay. Well, I threw a fit and said we'd pay tax & title, but no more and they'd have to roll that $250 into the bottom line. To make a long story as short as possible, we ended up getting all our money back - Kenny had brought cash, so they weren't happy at all about it - and we were ready to walk out the door over that $250. I asked them if their contract was an etch-a-sketch, and they just shake the papers around and change it to whatever numbers suit them at the moment. As they were getting his deposit money to return (that was a cash deposit made last week), one of the fella's stopped the whole production, said they'd eat the $250, got me a beer and we called it a transaction. The new Explorer seems to be running great so far and all his music equipment fits in the back just fine. All's well that ends well or something like that.

Friday night Kenny had a show at The Blue Moose in North Royalton. I went with him to help him out, he fell earlier in the week and really hurt his back. His friend Pete also went and worked the show with him, so I didn't have to do much. Stayed just long enough to have a beer, listen to some singers and I was home around midnight. Sometimes it's nice to get out on a Friday night, feel like part of the action. Some action in North Royalton :)

Saturday we spent the better part of the day sorting through paper/mail and doing some general organizing of the stuff in the living/dining room area. There's just so much, I can't even communicate the magnitude of papers/mail we receive at this house. I'm like Kramer and want to stop the mail altogether! Since that's not possible I guess we just need to file it more regularly.

Melinda stopped over on her way home from work, it was good to see her. I unloaded a bag of shirts that I no longer wear. I swear to God, my boobs are getting bigger and stuff just isn't fitting in the chest area anymore. Maybe I need more carrots, less carrot cake. Anyway, Melinda benefitted from my heaving bosom (I should be a romance novelist) and got some cute new clothes. I was happy to finally find a home for this super-cute shirt from Ann Taylor, I wore it once and never could fully commit to it - it had an empire waist or something that just made me feel preggers. Not a good thing for me! It looked good on her because of her smaller ta-tas (I'm using all sorts of boobie-slang) and I don't feel bad that an expensive shirt is just hanging in the back closet.

As our reward for doing some stuff around the house, we headed up to Erie Saturday evening for more gaming action. I've decided that until the world comes up with a better hobby alternative, I'm good with gaming. As long as I'm spending Kenny's money, that is. He funded us the entire trip. We gamed until 5:00 a.m., drove to the exit where we stayed during the snowstorm and slept til noon today. We headed back for a couple more hours since we were down just a little bit from Saturday night.

Lo & behold, I actually ended up winning a little something for a change! I won $540 on a penny machine. As Kenny pointed out, it's not really a penny machine since I was playing max-bet of $1.50 (150 credits). But whatever, I was excited and cashed out, giving him the ticket since I was playing with all his money anyway. We pissed around the better part of the day, up & down all afternoon, coming home even. Can't be unhappy with even - and that's after paying for the hotel & our food. We had a really fun trip, all went well.

I started a new book this week, Burning Bright by Tracy Chevalier. I've enjoyed all of her books that I've read so far, and Heidi leant it to me since she has 2 more weeks before it goes back to the library. Let's hope I get through it - knowing my recent book-reading ability, it's going to be tough.

Geri's house is finally starting to look like a house:
I'm excited for both her & Rusty and can't wait to see it!

Sophie's birthday party is coming up, it's just two weeks away. I'm busy getting the final plans into place. I need to order a cake on Monday and call Mapleside Farms with the total number of people who have RSVP'd. I still need to write up a little story.

At Toastmasters this week, I won another ribbon for "Best Table Topics." Those are nerve-wracking for me! As chatty and loud as I am on a regular basis, it's surprising how nervous I get being in a "formal" speech setting. And that would be the reason I joined! I'm glad Emily's doing it with me, that makes it a lot more fun overall. We're scheduled to give our Icebreaker speeches on May 29th. I'd like to postpone it, but I have to get it done sometime. I received a message on Friday from one of the leaders asking me if I'm going to run for any of the officer positions. I guess I didn't think I had been a member long enough to assume a position, but I would certainly do it - why not! If I'm going to spend the time in the group, I might as well make the most of it. I'd like to complete both the Communicator & Leadership tracks. If I'm giving up lunch with my friends every Tuesday, might as well make it worth my while.

I realized recently that my "baby" nephew graduates from High School this year. Wow. Wow. I volunteered Kenny to do Karaoke at his party in June, I think that will be REALLY fun. He normally charges $300 for Graduation parties, so it's quite nice that he's "in the family" and we're able to get his services for free. He's also setting up the sound system for Sophie's party, we're not doing Karaoke, but it will be nice to have the good background music going with really fun songs during the luncheon.

That's all the words for this week. Peace and please stay healthy. I've got enough of my friends I'm worried about right now! Let me just say, I have no problems - there are people without feet, and people too close to home fighting for their lives - I am contrite for getting at all upset over my car carpet or my coffee table. Shame on me.