Nike Can Suck It.

Holy Monday. I decided to stop yakking about needing more exercise and just get up early and do something about it. I had planned to use my elliptical machine but couldn't get the t.v. to work. It was on "On Demand" and I have no idea how to get it off of that.

So I went with it, and On-Demanded a 10-minute total body workout. Yes, 10 minutes - stop judging.

Jeeeezuuuuuus.

10 Minutes.

I was out-of-breath-I-think-I'm-gonna-pass-out after 5. In my defense, we were going pretty fast and with a hand weight.

But really. I had to sit out for about 3 minutes of my 10 minute workout and catch my breath.

I'm sitting here sweating like I just ran a marathon.

It can only get better, right? Right??!

Seeing.

Yesterday was my uncle's funeral. He died this past Wednesday, in the same hospice where Kenny's grandfather died in July.

The funeral was very poignant. There wasn't a lot of religiosity to the event. My cousins wrote and recited personal stories, as did their husbands and some of the kids. It was very personal and meaningful. Much more so than a bunch of biblical passages, in my opinion. But then I'm not one to be much for the biblical passages.

My mother's best friend, whom I haven't seen since my mother died in 1995, was sitting next to my father when I walked in. I didn't recognize her. Her face was familiar, but I didn't know who she was in the context of this setting. She had read about my uncle's death in the paper. I started shaking and crying when I realized who she was. I've missed her so, and didn't know how deeply rooted in me she was until I saw her sitting there. She was such an important part of my childhood and teenhood, she is in so many memories of my life, my mother, and me. She started crying and we hugged so hard, I didn't want to let her go. She hugged me back equally hard.

She quietly exited after the service, slipped out before I could say goodbye and my heart splintered a little when I realized she had gone without a word. But then, outside, my dad passed me a yellow slip of paper with her phone number, and the message to call her soon. We live close by. I want her back in my life.

My family is so fractured, I need her. She is my past, and one of the best parts of it.

So these types of encounters always lead me back to when I go for my spiritual blessings by Amma and Meera, who travel here from India teaching darshan. They dole out personal blessings, finding your deepest spiritual needs, and work to unravel the knots for you. I have had a lot of unravelled knots since I've been on the receiving end of their work.

"There is one truth that shines through all of creation. Rivers and mountains, plants and animals,

the sun, the moon and the stars, you and I—all are expressions of this one Reality."

Knock Boots

We saw Crazy Stupid Love last night and Holy Mother of Mary, I can't keep my panties up. Two words. One man. Ryan Gosling.

Sorry Bradley Cooper, but I would cheat on you with him. You've got to be my #2 now.

Anyone think I can mold Kenny a little to capture some of this magic? Wardrobe? Hairstyle? I vow to make it my end-of-year mission,since I have very little* chance of bringing Ryan Gosling home. I'll have to adapt what I have.

*note how I use the phrase "very little", as if there is possibly SOME chance, no matter how minuscule? That's optimism right there, Reader. OPTIMISM. Glass-half-full-Girl, that's me.

So that's where we are today.

Other places we are today are 5 lbs. lighter for me due to Meatless August, and 7 lbs. for Soon-To-Be-Ryan-Gosling-Look-Alike.

I wasn't able to get back into the day-by-day reporting (I know, I know, you're disappointed) once I couldn't do a new page per day, but we've been following tightly to our plan. I haven't really been exercising like I need to, but maybe today? I don't know why it's so difficult for me to just do something, but I'm lazy, I guess. I had high hopes of getting up early (by 9ish, that's early for me, no judging!) but instead? It was 11:30 before I hauled up out of that bed. My Other Half had gone with his friend today, and the house was cold (thanks, central air), the pillow was soft, the bed was big, and it was just too delightful to prompt me to leave all that.

No wonder I have low chances of running into Ryan Gosling and taking him for my lover. Unless he just somehow magically appears next to me in bed, there's a good chance we won't cross paths.

Just A Day In The Life

Monday.

What have we been doing? Well, I haven't moved to Montana or Wyoming and hooked up with a rodeo rider (although that still does sound quite sexy).

Here's what we've really been up to:

The Mister & I are sticking strong to our Meatless August. The Mister has lost 7 lbs, me, about 2 or 3ish. I don't really know. Enough to not be as thrilled about it but feeling better overall, so that's worth something.

It's not even really hard to do. I kinda would like a piece of Popeye's Chicken, or some bacon, but other than that, no worries. We went grocery shopping Sunday night and Kenny was quite skeptical when I threw vegetarian corn dogs in the buggy. He was convinced they would be terrible, but had to eat his words once he ate the breaded wiener. They were remarkably good.

I've got big plans to get up EARLY in the morning and go for a walk around the neighborhood. There are solid reasons, Reader, why I need to get a little exercise, but I'll save that recap for another time. But believe you me, I need to get a little cardio in my life. I'm a mess.

Restless.

I am just creatively drained. I need a re-set. I don't know how to get it.

I fantasize about running away from Life, but I'm sure it would find me, wherever I went.

I'd like to get scooped up by a cowboy and live on a ranch. He'd have to wear chaps, of course.

I'd also like to go live on a tropical island, far away from it all, and not be scooped up by anyone.

I'd like to live by the mountains. I'd also like to live by a lake. But a pretty lake, in the mountains, not Lake Erie.

I need to figure out what I want.

Long Live The King!

Goose Commemorates Elvis.

Yes, I had this outfit custom-made. The cats should really be more appreciative, that I don't dress them up. It could be so. So. Much worse.

It's All In How You Look At It

I have been meaning to check out a park that I heard was just a hop, skip & a jump away from my house. I was skeptical that a park existed this close to me and I've never seen it in six years. I was told that it's a couple blocks down, then the street dead-ends and you follow this little path through the woods that ends in the park. The thought of following a little path through the woods sort of concerned me, I guess I lived in the 'hood of Cleveland for too long to just be meandering off through wooded parks on my own. After all, we had a homicidal serial killer from Cleveland, didn't 'cha hear?

My brother was over so I made him take a walk down the street with me in search of this park. I promised him ice cream at the end of the walk so he was on board.

Lo & behold, the street did dead end right to a little wooded trail. As we were making our way through it I expressed my concern about getting accosted/raped if I would take that adventure alone some day.

Chuck: "Uh, at your age, you might want to consider that a compliment."

On the Loose

I had my very first mammogram today. At work. Can't get much more convenient than that, they bring it right there to ya, and it's free.

So I got one.

And now I chalk this day up to the first time I've been naked at work. Well, partially naked, but if the boobs are out, it counts as naked in my books.

Nothing Much.

Huh. I can't add unlimited pages to track my Project 31 results. I know, you're sad, right? Cause you need to know what I ate for breakfast. and if I stretched. or whatever.

I'll have to condense and figure this out.

Let it just be noted that nothing special happened on Day 9 or Day 10. Smoothie with spinach. Vitamins. The usual.

Kenny's lost enough weight to be happy about it, and I made a good start too. I'm hungry now, and am going to go and try to ransack the kitchen. I'm sure I will come up empty handed as there's nothing there but zucchini and a big bag of tomatoes that just appeared out of nowhere on my kitchen table tonight. For which I'm grateful. And I don't even care where they came from.

Maybe Twinkle's been growing tomatoes in the back room, unbeknownst to me.

Blogapalooza

No wonder I'm never well-rested.

You may or may not recall my love affair with pillows.

When I moved in with Kenny I threw out his most disgusting bed pillow and ever since we've been on a quest to find him a suitable replacement. I've spent hundreds of dollars searching for the pillow that will meet his needs, which are:

1/ to be able to ball up a giant pillow into a little square when desired

2/ to be able to create a pillow "tube" if desired

3/ have enough support without having TOO much support

It's been a challenge to meet his needs, because his needs are sort of stupid. Seriously, his pillows often end up in some really funky tube shape, of which I wish I had a photo to share, but we've thrown them out when they become this lumpy mess that he turns them into.

He's been yearning for pillows from The Wynn hotel in Las Vegas ever since our trip there over New Years weekend. I doubted they'd be all he dreamed they would be, but finally in July I looked into ordering one. I was apprehensive about the cost, the pillow cases alone were $400.

I bit the bullet and inquired. They were only $89 each, king sizers. Really?? I was dubious and asked the man about four times if he was sure that was correct, based on the cost of the cases alone, but he assured me that price was correct. So I ordered two. They shipped 'em up here.

Those Wynn pillows have not disappointed us. They are fantastical pillows. So fantastical, in fact that Twinkle, who has never been a pillow sleeper, has taken a liking to them and now retires to my pillow every evening. I put my old pillow at the top of the bed for him, but no-siree, that is not the one he wants. I can push him up to that one for a while, but then throughout the night he encroaches down onto my pillow, and I wake up more often than not with a cat ass in my face, or he just blatently puts his paws on my eyeballs, or decides I need my hair cleaned.

In Other News.

Kenny & I attended a wedding last night. It was held in a party center located at a campground that had all the fine makings of a horror movie. Beat-down looking trailers, a pretty lake, and the rustic, wood-sided party center. It would not have surprised me a bit if something rose from the lake and chased us with a slingblade. ~insert gutteral Ummm. Hmmm. ~

The party center itself was very nice. But it was the country. And a campground. Put those two together, and you get a septic system.

Kenny: "I walked into the bathroom and it smelled so much like shit, I turned around and walked out, thinking I'd already gone."

Ah, country living at it's finest.

And I Was Actually Very Polite!

My receipt called me a bitch. Twice.

And I still left a $5 tip.