Saturday, May 31, 2008
Vagina Monologues
Me: "No, it's the 'I wonder how this new nose spray that I just bought is gonna work' look."
Kenny: "Boy, I sure misread that one."
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
May/December Weather
Goose honored Memorial Day by donning it's Marine Corp dress blues outfit. I was looking for the Uncle Sam red, white & blue outfit I have, but it wasn't readily available so we figured this one would fill the bill. Coupled with a little flag in the front yard, it was looking downright patriotic.
The weekend was jam-packed with fun, with festivities bulging at the seams. One more Thing To Do, and the weekend would have burst. Saturday I kicked my own ass at the gym, deciding to "run" a 10k on the Elliptical Machine. Just like that, decided to go for it. My heart could have burst, for Chrisssake, but I did it and it didn't. Sixty five minutes I was in motion. I felt victorious, as if they were handing me a trophy or something. They didn't. A new contest is starting at the gym this week and I need to get signed up for that on Wednesday. I'm going to implement a 5k three times a week and run the 10k on Saturday's when I can. I figure at that pace I'll have the best ass this side of Brookpark Road -that'll be some achievement!
Margie celebrated a birthday on Sunday, that's 88 years for her now. I asked her if she had any regrets with her life, anything she wishes she would have done and didn't and she couldn't think of a thing. She said her life was spent doing and going and hanging with friends all the time, they would have dances and play games and bowl and it was just the best life. Doesn't get much better than that, no "wish I would of's". I wouldn't be able to say the same yet, I have too many things still to do on my While I'm Still 98.6 Degrees list.
In the spirit of the holiday weekend, I made a red, white & blue trifle for Marge's birthday treat:
Stanley and I threw back some giant Bush beers:
After the birthday visit with Marge & Company, Kenny and I headed to a cookout at Pete & Vera's. They know how to throw a party. I can say it is the first time in my life that I've been to a cookout that included New York Strip Steaks and King Crab Legs. Who even does that?? Pete & Vera do, that's who! I heavily indulged in the new Bud Lime beers that are out, and I must say they rival Landshark for me. Pete & Kenny decided to make out:
I was happy to have Pete "service" him for a change, he wore me out over the weekend and I was sick of kissing him by Sunday :) Pete is walking around sans neckbrace. These are two sexy muthafukers. Hand's off, Ladies - they're spoken for!
While the boys were making out, Vera was grillin' steaks:
Their backyard is really pretty, a nice deck, a stone patio, a little pond. All that's missing is me on a chaise lounge with a good book. Kenny and I had a fight on Monday, I was pretty bitchy with him because I know he won't be digging me a pond in this lifetime. He's not into digging. So I created a fight about it, and told him I was going to go find a new Landscaper Boyfriend. The funny thing is, we don't even have a backyard appropriate for a pond, yet there I was fighting about it. Sometimes when you want to argue, you can find a fight in anything.
I was in a pretty pissy mood by Monday afternoon, I had been to the cemetery to put flowers on my mother's grave and then went and spent some time with my grandmother Sophie. She frustrates the fuck out of me sometimes. I'm still actually a little irritated with her even today, Kenny advised me to go to bed early and "reset." She didn't do anything in particular, just her bullshit worry about money and not eating right (because the cost of food is too high) has me extremely agitated with her. I told her to keep it up, by Christmas we'll have her in a nursing home. She hates that threat. Well, I know she's too old to change, so it's just a matter of dealing with it. I do need a reset.
Here's a random picture of the MaleMan, he stopped over on his Harley. I gave some of Fucksteve's shit from his old Harley to him, he was able to do something with the seats and tailpipes and other random shit that was left in the gargage when I moved. See, it's all recycling. Fucksteve's shit has been recycled down a variety of avenues :)
My order of Frownies came in today, I'm sitting around the living room with sticky squares stuck to my face. They suggest "for best results" to sleep in these crazy things, but really how is that even possible?? They're sticky little squares stuck to my face, with the promise of wrinkle elimination. Even if they weren't irritating, what would these things to to my sex life?? Frownies = No Fuckies. I'd post a picture of the ridiculousness, but my computer picks and chooses when it will or won't read my photo memory card. It's chosen not to read it at the moment.
Note to self: When I'm at Wal*Mart and looking at random cat toys and ask Kenny, "Would the cats like this?" DO NOT LISTEN if Kenny says, "Sure, get it." I didn't do that, and now have this monstrosity sitting in the dining room area, and the last time Twink was in it was when I threw him into it a couple of weeks ago. Now I have this stupid-ass looking thing sitting in the room, unattended to and neglected. I can't even return it, it came in a billion pieces and I threw the box and receipt out. Next stop: Treelawn.
That's just about all I've got this week. Well, there was so much more, but really I do need to seriously reset myself so I'm heading off to bed. Oh, yeah - I would be remiss if I failed to mention that we did see the new Indy movie Monday night. Maybe that's why I'm sluggish, we went to the 8:45 p.m. movie and I had to work today, maybe I just need more rest. That marks the THIRD time Kenny's seen it since it opened. And I doubt that he's done yet.....
Peace, and make the most of your week. Eighty-eight years go by in a flash, I'm told.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Six Word Memoir
There's a new book coming out, called Not Quite What I Was Planning: Six-Word Memoirs By Famous and Obscure Writers. It's from the editors of Smith Magazine, and it's exactly what it says it is -- a collection of memoirs, each just six words long.
The idea stems from a literary legend. We don't know if it's true, but as the story goes, Ernest Hemingway was once asked to write a story in six words. His response: "For sale: baby shoes, never worn." That's at least as good as The Old Man and the Sea.
The editors of Smith challenged writers to craft their own six-word memoirs, and got some interesting results. Most of them sound kinda like crosses between a personal ad and a haiku...
"Shy Jersey kid, overcompensating ever since." --Ariel Kaminer
"Being a monk stunk. Better gay." --Bob Redman
"Couldn't cope so I wrote songs." --Aimee Mann
Some of them are funny, others are pretty poignant. There's one that says, "Was father. Boys died. Still sad." That's from Ronald Zalewski.
The BPP crew is going to post our six-word memoirs, and we want to hear yours. Sum up your life in six words -- no more, no less. For best results, don't overthink it. And remember, it's supposed to be a memoir, not a fortune cookie.
http://www.npr.org/blogs/bryantpark/2008/01/whats_your_sixword_memoir.html
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Tough to do.....here's mine, describing me at the moment (and with under 5 minutes to give it thought, as I have to get ready for Events):
Sunday, May 18, 2008
Save a Horse...
So we're all basically working to fill up our tanks to be able to go to work. To buy the milk ($4/gallon) to go with the bread ($3/loaf), to have for breakfast before we go to work, I don't know why I swallowed a fly.......
Twinkle had a big exciting weekend. I took him outside on Saturday and let him roam around. Well, it was carefully supervised roaming, he got to roll around on the warm concrete of the driveway, scratching his back and face against the rough surface in pure kittenish bliss. He sniffed and gawked and walked in grass. A big day for him. He rewarded me by jumping up on me in the middle of the night and cuddling up with his motor running. That is not the norm for him, he is not a cuddly purr cat. But he was last night and I loved him up for it. Today he's eating carmel popcorn. Or more, he took a chomp out of it and then decided to throw it around the room, then romping after it. I guess that would be a chomp & romp. It's a good day at our house.
I'm not feeling 100% so I believe I'm going to go and stretch out for a bit. I think I feel the rumblings of cramps. It's good to be a girl. Peace, and do something unexpected. Surprise yourself.
Saturday, May 17, 2008
Add More Lesbians and Threesomes
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Blog Rant #2
Oh, yeah. Go Cavs. Wait, too late. They lost again. Another reason it's good to be Cleveland. At least we're consistent. I saw Cleveland news made it all the way to the Drudge this week. Stated something about, "A heinous gang crime in the poorest city." Pride, Baby.
This week I've determined that I'm focusing my finances towards a home on the beach. Not just any beach. a tropical-waters beach. I realized I can so live there one day. Why not, I say?! Why not, indeed! I'm off to Chicago in the morning for work. Now that my blog rant is completed for the night, I need to go pack. My $400 airfare to Chicago doesn't seem so out of scope compared to what it costs to fill up my car. Almost a bargain, really. Peace.
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Who's Leg Do I Hafta Hump?
A Mother's Day Haiku From the Cats:
Nice lady pets us.
Scoops the poop out of our box.
We call her mommy.
It was a delightful Mother's Day weekend, in spite of a minor change of plans. Sophie was supposed to join us (by us, I mean Kenny's family) for a noon lunch and chit-chat. She called me on THURSDAY and told me she was going to be too tired to make it on Sunday. Same old shit I have to contend with every time we make plans with her, so I just let her do what she wanted with no arguing about it. She was all set to go, until she found out we'd be having lunch at a restaurant, which would cost - wait for it .......... MONEY!! Not even HER money, Kenny and I were treating. But whatever, so she didn't go. It's a minor annoyance, because I had ordered a birthday cake for her at a bakery which would have been on the way to her house, and now I didn't want to drive all that way to pick it up to not have her there to celebrate. So I called the bakery, told 'em to keep it in the fridge and I imagine I'll go pick it up Tuesday after work and take it out to her, which is her actual birthday anyway. But still a whole upset of plans.
I had noon reservations at Bucca de Beppo in Strongsville for the clan. I was a little apprehensive that it would be too "trendy/modern" for Marge & Stanley's liking, seeing as they normally gravitate towards simpler fare ala Wendy's and Hometown Buffet. But it was all going to be different today, I wanted something out of the norm and "special." Plus, I had to choose by who had reservations available, so this was the pick. I was happily surprised that Marge especially loved the meal, she proclaimed it the best lasagna she's ever eaten and was more than happy to have a container full of leftovers. We had Chicken Marsala, Spaghetti with Meatballs and Lasagna - more than enough food to feed five people, but we wanted to provide a nice variety. It's a good thing Sophie didn't come, she would have had a heart attack had she seen the bill - let's just say we scared the hell outta $200. But hey, it was no time to be skrimpy with the family that gives so much to us.
We ended the afternoon with a visit at Marge & Stanley's house, before we headed home just a short while ago. Kenny went back that way and to his mother's house, she has the electronic capabilities to turn a record into a DVD, and he wants her to do that with the soundtrack from Fletch that he has on vinyl. He wanted me to go with him, but then we had a discussion about the Sunday Night Rules of when I like to be settling down in the house for the night, so he went on his own. I'm supposed to be doing laundry and dishes, gearing up for the week, but here I sit doing a much more fun - albeit unproductive - task.
I'm delighted to discover that my best "girlfriend" Rob is home from his Disney Cruise Vacation - hooray for me!! I missed him while he was gone! His website is partially updated and I spent a good portion of my designated clothes-washing time catching up on his fun. What's not to love about a cruise? It's just the best fun I've ever had on vacation. Can't wait for my 14-day extravaganza in the Fall.
A trip to Chicago is in the plans for this week, am going for a work thing. Should be fun, I've never "done" Chicago, and while we won't be there long enough to really do 'er up right, a few of the folks from Creative and I have a plan to paint the town at least mauve, even if we don't make it to a full-out saturated red. Kenny and I were going to turn it into an impromptu weekend getaway, but airfare for him alone was going to be over $600, not to mention the expense of a hotel in the heart of the action. A simple weekend would have been close to $2000, with part of my expenses paid! That's a 7-day cruise, we said "No" to that idea and instead I'll stick to the work agenda, zipping in on Thursday and out on Friday. Maybe we'll make a night in Chicago feel like a weekend, if we do it up right. It was a really fast week, they do seem to get faster as you age. I had two days of Competitive Shopping bookending the week, so I had an early Monday and Friday. I spent a few of the evenings at the gym, getting reacquainted with the Pilates Reformer and the ellipital machines, and had golf on Thursday at Valleaire. I had a pretty good game, not my best, but some good shots in there. All-in-all, a fun time. Friday night K & I stayed in, we were supposed to go see a Honky Tonk Heroes show at the House of Blues, but it started too early for me to be happy about it (7 p.m.) so we opted out. I just couldn't gear up for more driving, I had been driving all over Creation for the Comp Shopping for work, and I needed a break from the roads. We ended up watching movies on HBO, The Astronaut Farmer and Dreamgirls. I stopped paying attention by the time Dreamgirls was wrapping up, it was just FAR too long of a movie. I was done. In fact, at one point Kenny said Jennifer Hudson looked like "Aunt Jemima" (she had on a shapeless frock and a headkerchief) and I said, "She does. Wanna make some pancakes?" So I went to make banana-pecan pancakes rather than watch the end of the movie. And that wrapped up the first week of the diet contest I'm in at work: banana pecan pancakes at 11 p.m. at night. It's really no wonder I only lost .2 lbs last week. But I guess it's something :) I did, however, work part of my ass off at the gym on Saturday. To which I'm sure I gained it all right back at Bucca today. Ah, well. Yin & Yang. That's as interesting as I am for this week. I'm off to make clean underwear happen so I have something to wear in Chicago this week.
Peace and kiss the ones you love (which is why I've kissed Twinkle incessently this weekend). By the way, his eye must have stopped bother him, he's stopped winking. Whew, I was worried!
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Prices Can Go To Hell
It was late when I was done, I closed the place, and determined I wanted some bananas so I headed over to Giant Eagle. I picked up $67 worth of groceries, which amounted to about four little bags and a six-pack of my favorite Landshark beer. I hesitated to buy it, costing $7.49 for a six-pack, but figured I'd treat myself. I'm turning into my Grandmother, quoting the prices of groceries and gas. Whatever, those prices can go to hell. When I got home, I opened the hatchback and my beer fell right out and busted all over the driveway. All seven dollars and forty-nine cents worth. Being late and dark out, it was difficult to clean it up, I get a treat in the morning of making sure the glass is picked up before I drive over it. That would be the cherry on top, getting a flat tire outta that debacle. To think, I had a good, peaceful evening planned of beer and Tylenol PM, for the perfect night of sleep. I haven't slept good in days, despite some rockin' out sex which should have helped me sleep. Luckily I bought a back-up bottle of wine, which I'm now enjoying while I blog out. Which is probably why this is TMI for some people....well, most people, not just some. Who cares. Stop reading if you don't wanna hear my blather :) I need to schedule a Sex & The City movie night. I imagine it might be a smallish group, I figure Jill will have something already scheduled, probably months ago the way she takes over everything. Whatever, I'm going regardless and people can join me if they'd like. No worries, it's fun movie night. Twinkle has me worried again. His eye seems bothered, he's winking a lot and it seems a little soupy. I'm going to keep an eye on his eye and if it's still acting up he's going to the cat doctor on Saturday. He'll love that. I worry a lot about that little kitty cat, he had a rocky start and his mama needs to keep a watch over him.
Well, the wine is doing it's job, and once I couple that with a Tylenol PM I probably won't be able to brush my teeth, so off I go to take care of evening routines. Peace, and have a restful night.
Monday, May 5, 2008
Getting My Cha Cha On
CSI: Miami has to be the worst-acted show on television. I have extreme dislike for the redheaded dude on the show, David Caruso - he overacts more than Captain Kirk! He's just the WORST, not to mention extremely unattractive. His eyebrows disturb me. That's my Monday night 2-cents. I'm off to a hot shower and a soft bed. Peace.