BRRRMMMRRRRMMM

I got motorboated by Kristen Friday night. Yeah for the girls!

My quest for a new coffee pot ended today down at the Lodi Outlets. We settled on a Cuisinart, even through it wasn't the top-rated pot, according to Consumer Reports, which Meggan so kindly printed out for me. She purchased the $26/year membership when she was looking into purchasing an elliptical trainer. Just one more reason she should be my bride: she's a good researcher. I sure hope this new pot meets my expectations. I just want a good cuppa joe with little hassle. Very reasonable, I believe, but we shall see if it delivers on it's promise tomorrow morning.

Friday night we celebrated Emily's birthday with a few cocktails on the patio of Blue Moose.

It was fun, and there were a couple o' fellas there who were complete throwbacks to the 80's. Actually, I'm not even sure the 80's are the proper era. I told Emily they were the white bread for an Emily sandwich, since it was her birthday and all. They're twins. Wouldn't she look sa-wheet nestled between them?! Hey, what are friends for - just trying to help a birthday girl out. They were excited to let me take their picture once they found out it would be posted on the 'net.

Afterwards, I met Jill and Anjie at El Rodeo for a light dinner and girl talk. I'm still a little in love with Anjie, even though she's now married - drat! She's pretty and she smells good. Is that being unfaithful to Meggan??

Len was out of town par-taying with the guys in Chicago, so Jill and I went back to her house after dinner and gabbed on the back porch until well into the evening. She has been reading the latest & greatest "road to happiness" book, The Secret. The idea of the book is the Laws of Attraction, that if you think and act in positive ways, you'll attract positive things. They try to base it into scientific evidence, but then that contradicts the scientific evidence that states that opposites attract - i.e., magnets and me with bad husbands. So which is correct? Well, I guess whatever sells the book at the moment.

Saturday was spent painting the spare bedroom in our house. It was the last room that hadn't been touched yet so I awoke and declared that Saturday was the day. I had it finished up by 5:00 and it looks very fresh. Now I have to put all the stuff back, and since that involves rearranging and organizing, it's not going to be a quick process. I'm sitting out on the back porch procrastinating, but I'm telling myself that blogging is much more important. Maybe I'll make myself a fresh pot of coffee in my new coffeemaker and get started! Yeah. Maybe :)

Since we finished a major project, we rewarded ourselves with an evening at JBs Arcade in Akron. We don't think it's going to be open much longer since the Governor is making it his mission to make them illegal, unless they give away prizes rather than cash. I really don't know how these little places are in business anyway, they sure seem like slot machines to me! There's no skill involved, unless you begin to recognize patterns and bet big when that happens. Which is what Kenny does, and why he comes out ahead. He didn't make a fortune, but he broke about even after funding my unlucky ass. I was even following The Secret, trying to attract a jackpot, to no avail. Maybe there's more truth to the opposites attracting after all - I was positive, I attracted negative. Hard to argue that.

I had a major moment in my life today: I had to use a public restroom to poop. We were all the way out in Lodi and something from lunch did not agree with me. There was just no way I could make it all the way home, it was an hour away. I was in a cold sweat with a stomach cramp and Kenny pulled into a Burger King and said he wasn't driving anywhere until I went in there and pooped. Of course, someone else was in the restroom using another stall so I had to wait them out. I finally managed to overcome my neurosis and public poop, but I wasn't relaxed about it. When I came out Kenny was convinced I didn't go and thought I was just lying to him to get him to drive home. But I am officially now a public pooper - but only in an extreme case of emergency. I really need therapy :) And I didn't overlook the irony that when he was having a bad moment on the highway months ago, we found a Burger King for him to use and once again a BK came through in a pinch. Get it....pinch? Ah, toilet humor - that's the official name, by the way, according to my job.

I have one more tomato on the vine, but nothing further. Just two little greenies trying to grow. I'm almost ready to throw my potted pansies in the trash, they are so demanding and such high maintenance. Again, today, I got the droopy look. And I just watered them yesterday! I didn't even miss a day and they are downtrodden. Sheesh.

Rusty and Geri jetsetted off to New York this week. Geri sent me a text message that they saw Bruce Willis. Can't wait to hear the scoop on that! We should give her a camera and let her be our travelling paparazzi. She goes enough places, that's for sure!


We leave for Vegas July 4th - that's right around the corner. It feels like 1/3 of our summer is almost over, and it really just began. Too short in Cleveland, to be sure. We have our cruise in September, so I think it's going to fly by and be here before I know it.


One of Kenny's past girlfriend's son came up for a visit this week. Michael comes up every summer and stays with Kenny's mom, and visits and just generally hangs out. He's 15 and couldn't be any nicer. He's into music, plays the keyboard and just got an accordian, inherited when his grandfather died. So he & Kenny have a huge common interest, and they did a lot of one-on-one stuff, including going to the Rock Hall and seeing some movies. The funny thing is, he looks so much like Kenny, it causes a double-take. Same build, same walk, same mannerisms.

Kenny will be hosting an hour-long radio show starting Sunday, July 1st on 1420 (AM). He's going in with a partner, and as of now it's scheduled to be a 12-week Karaoke show with a contest, much like an American Idol show for the radio. We were busy Thursday night recording me singing, he's creating some intro and promo pieces and needed, as he put it, "some humorous, bad singing." Which is me, trying my best. I'm REALLY bad, but man alive, was it fun!

I sang Dolly Parton's 9-to-5, Elvis' Viva Las Vegas (natch), Shania Twain, Sheryl Crow, Kelly Clarkson - a whole montage, and I didn't want to give up the microphone when he had enough. I was groovin' in my pajamas. The cats were going CRAZY, Stanley was at my feet howling and The Girl Cat started climbing up my back and biting my pajama top! Before the cats knocked me completely down and tried to eat me to get me to stop, I handed over the mic to Timmy and he took over with a little Prince and some other groups I'm not familiar with, that hard rock stuff he likes.

So basically, my music is going to get some airplay on the radio. Would ya'll (see, I'm channelling Britney already) like an autograph? Once I'm a SuperStar I can guarantee I'll forget every last one of ya'll and move to Nashville where I will be hounded by the paparazzi and Geri will be sending text messages back to ya'll that she saw me at Emeril's or whereever. I'm so close to fame I can taste it!

I'm going to create a My Space page for the radio show this coming week. Ya'll tune in at 8:00 p.m. July 1st, 1420 and you'll be the first to hear my muscial debut!

That's it for now. Once I get the bedroom arranged I'll post before & after pictures. I should start my own t.v. show. Maybe once I'm a famous singer they'll sign me up to host something on HGTV. Or maybe I can be the new host of The Price is Right!!

Peace, and do something that makes you happy enough to sing!

Whoreticulture

The potted flowers and planted vegetables are demanding, insisting on water EVERY day, not every other day; if their demands are not met, they greet me the next morning like petulant little children with droopy frowny-faces. Sheesh. Don't they know there are plants starving for water in Africa, who would be GRATEFUL to get a drink of fresh clean water every other day?? Well, I've succumbed to their demands for the most part (had to revive the pansy's with a late-night drink and another one first thing this morning), but it's paid off:

A baby 'mater on the vine!! Angels are singing, trumpets are trumpeting! The fruits of my labors have been born!

Now if we could only decide if this is a weed or a plant:

It's the tallest thing in the flower bed, and neither Timmy nor I remember planting something of this nature, but it looks like something that may sprout a flower at some point. Kenny insists it's a weed, as it's off-center and hardy, and thinks it's funny that we water and weed around our weed. We have too much invested in it now to just carelessly pull it up, so if it is a weed we'll see just how big it gets by September - I wonder if it will grow 5 ft tall? Probably, with all the nurturing it's receiving.

Saturday both Geri and I had appointments at John Roberts in Solon. I had hair and she had a mani-pedi scheduled around the same time. Boy, we lead hard lives! I surprised myself with directing Sarah to short-hair me. So now I'm shorn, but it's cute. I was just over the attempt at long hair. It felt straggly against my neck. Kenny was .... surprised. I had Sarah extra-blond it for him. It still looks practically the same in front.

After our appointments Geri and I tried to grab a light snack at Blue Canyon in Twinsburg - I've heard her and Frannie talk about it and I was excited to try it. There was a bit of a snafu as we were trying to sit on the patio, a girl told us we could sit and eat out there and then a rather snarky waitress said it didn't open for another hour and we could just have soda.

Eventually they figured it out and we got snacks with out sodas, and we enjoyed the nice afternoon before heading over to see the new Bowen residence that's under construction. Wow. As nice as I imagined, it's going to be quite the house. While at John Roberts we did tell Sarah we'd make a salon in the basement for her, let her move in and I'd buy her a car if we got our hair done for work every morning and for special events. Geri's house does have the perfect salon area - she could fit both Sarah and me, and Sarah's new car that I would buy her, and no one would be stepping on anyone's toes!

Kenny had a karaoke show on Saturday at Briarwood Golf Course. I tease him about how "hard" his job is, playing music and listening to people sing, but this is what he has to deal with every time:

The singing is worse than the stage appearance. And loud. And off-key and screechy. I stayed and had some beers and a hotdog, then I was happy to leave around 10:30. No job is as easy as it appears, and I think dealing with drunk non-singers for 4-hour stints would rank up there with fighting fires. Well, maybe :)

We saw a great movie this past week, Mr. Brooks. It's one of best I've seen in a very long time and well-worth the price of admission to a movie theater. Very suspenseful.

Our major mission for today is to go shopping for a new coffee maker. I've tried researching them online, but I'm not paying $26/year for a subscription to Consumer Reports. Our Bunn went to the treelawn, it broke and the water wouldn't come out of the reservoir, so you'd have to continuously add water to it to get 1 pot, while the bulk of it stayed in the machine. It was $100, so I wasn't thrilled to pitch it and now I want to be more cautious with my next purchase. Currently we have a $38 one from Wal*mart, and it's getting returned today. It's a piece of crap and I haven't had a good cuppa coffee in a month.

I finished reading Fall on Your Knees, it was a excellent. I'm happy to know that I can finish a book, it just has to be a good one and not necessarily a piece a crap on the bestseller list.

On Meggan's recommendation, I watched my Tivo'd episodes of Army Wives, which just started on the Lifetime channel. Now, most people scoff at anything on that channel, but I have to say it was really good! I watched both taped episodes back-to-back and can't wait for the next one.

Today is Father's Day, so to all you Father's out there enjoy your day. We're celebrating in the traditional manner at Hometown Buffet. I guess that's as good as any thing to jumpstart a diet plan.

Peace and if you get the choice to sit it out or dance...just keep your drunk-ass in your chair.

More Cow Bell

At this particular moment in my life, we are out of toilet paper in our house. On a Sunday morning, with coffee in hand, that spells disaster and makes me ponder how we got to this point. Luckily, Timmy usually keeps up with all the necessities of life and I'm sure he's got a square to spare :)

So what were we doing that the household sundries were allowed to get to the point of extinction without us doing something about it before now? With Kenny gone on his trip to Tunica, I was quite busy! I caught up on Monday night with my Aunt Caroline and our (and my mom's) friend Brenda. I chose Luchitas for a leisurely Mexican fiesta, but upon our arrival we discovered they are closed on Monday's. Luckily, we can always find somewhere to eat so we chose our backup plan and headed over to Outback Steakhouse. We had a really nice 4-hour dinner, chatting about everything from family and relationships to politics and the environment. It was great to see them and I'm looking forward to doing it again this summer!

Tuesday night Emily and I met Kristin B. at Brio in Legacy Village. I had to make it a quickie because Kenny was flying in from Tunica with an ETA of 7:00 p.m. Kristin just had surgery and we were meeting her to say, "hi" and to check out the goods - she looks fabulous! She had breast reduction surgery (which I think is a crime!), but I can see her point, because, well...her points were in the way all the time. And she said they were incredibly heavy. Anyway, her new set looks fabulous, but I'm still hoping to get a peek of them in their nakey splendor. But that's just because I'm a voyeur.

Kenny didn't even unpack from his trip since Wednesday we were leaving for 3 days in Niagara for Birthday Week. He threw some fresh skivvies into his suitcase and we headed out Wednesday afternoon. We got a bit of a later start than we would have liked because the guys who installed the central air were here in the morning to finish hooking up the thermostat. Now it's all in place and I just need to touch up the paintwork in the living room.

The drive to Niagara was very smooth, with us arriving around 5:00 p.m. or thereabouts. I wasn't worried about getting up there later than normal, as Geri pointed out, the later you get there the more money you're saving. The only source of concern was to make it in time to see Huey Lewis, who was performing at Fallsview. The Heart of Rock & Roll was Still Beatin'. We had front-row tickets on Wednesday and 3rd row tickets for Thursday - it was a double-dose of Huey for Birthday Week. Both shows were really good, but Kenny thinks Huey was drunk on the first night - and he probably was!

I used to think Kenny was Huey's #1 Fan, but I was happy to see there was someone even more off the charts there, which ratcheted Kenny down into the more normal zone. This guy had a Rod-Stewart haircut and he was just out-of-control nuts at the concert, waving his arms and jumping around. I would have taken a photo, but they were strictly prohibited and they were not kiddin' about it. This guy - who we thought was a girl, so we nicknamed him Dude Look Like a Lady, was also there both nights, and he had sunglasses for Huey to wear during the Back in Time finale. Both nights. I bet Huey just loved donning some nuts sweaty black sunglasses, but he did it and then gave them back to the guy both times.

We supported Paris Hilton by staying at the Hilton hotel attached to Fallsview. It was a GREAT hotel, with the best beds & pillows ever. We could see both sets of Falls from our window:

You can even see the rainbow in the above photo - which I attributed to be an omen of good luck for us!

So I guess the rainbow was an omen of luck for Kenny; he won $5000 on one hand of poker!! He was playing a newer card game called Ultimate Texas Hold 'Em and had $10 on a bonus-bet, which paid 500/1 for a Royal Flush - and he got one!! I was in our hotel napping before the 2nd night of Huey, so he had to celebrate his big moment with strangers. But just as well, I think it was my unlucky ass not hanging around him which made him win. That, or he won because I rubbed his money on the Christmas card from Jill of Virgin Guadalupe that's still hanging on my fridge. I'm sure that had something to do with it - although it doesn't explain my usual non-luck, 'cause I rubbed all my money all over Guadalupe and didn't win $5000.

While we were in Niagara, Geri and Rusty headed to California for a nice vacation, travelling like Movie Stars. They had hotel reservations at the Belair (if I remember correctly) and planned on shopping and site-seeing on Rodeo Drive. Can't wait to hear all about it on Monday!

Jill and Len headed up to Toronto on Friday, and we tried to meet up with them at Seneca on their way up and our way home. We missed 'em, but Jill was there for about an hour and won $500 on a machine. We were there for a really short time, I'm just not a fan of Seneca. I think they put a maloik on me the last time I was there because I called them Indians instead of Native Americans. Apparently they don't like that. Whatever. Too many names that are politcally incorrect for me to keep up with. All I know is, you can call me whatever you want and I really don't care. Sticks and stones and all that crap.

Yesterday Kenny and I went to the movies and saw Knocked Up, then headed to the St. Anthony's of Padua yearly festival. We had gyros, veggies and shared a funnel cake before heading to the basement level to play Let It Ride poker. We lost, but it was nominal, and I plan on writing it off as a church donation next year :)

Last night Kenny had a show at the Blue Moose and I watched The Queen. It was excellent, and I cried all the way through it, much as I did when Diana died.

I was suprised to see that I don't have any tomatos on the vine yet. It's been an entire week - I should be making fresh sauces by now!

My friend Heidi gave me a really good book, Fall on Your Knees, which I started reading yesterday. I was up til 4 a.m. reading last night; I can't wait to have time to get back to it again today.

Looking back on the activities of the week, I can see there just was no time to buy toilet paper. Sometimes it's just that busy.

Peace, and enjoy safe summer travels!

Happy 39th, Kenny!

Kenny turned 39 today! To celebrate, he took a trip with his mom to Tunica, Mississippi for some pre-gambling before our trip to Niagara this coming Wednesday. I couldn't go, have too much to do at work this week to take the entire thing off, but I'm glad he's able to go. He doesn't read the blog (he says he lives it, he doesn't need to read about it after the fact), but the wishes are here for him anyway! The Girl Cat (yes, that's what we ended up calling Reba) took a rest with me in bed this afternoon while we watched our television addiction, HGTV. Today we watched 35 Things To Do To Sell Your House. Now, neither The Girl Cat nor I 1./Are selling a house and 2./Have a house to sell. But we watched it together anyway.

Today is one of those non-descript days that is just kinda "here." It's trying to rain, which would be nice because I spent the better part of yesterday planting a few tomato and pepper plants. Good Lord, that was exhausting. I had to dig up the top layer of sod, and the area next to the garage that I choose as the gardening spot was an overgrown weed den, with wild and near-dead rose bushes that I had to cut down. I have 2 full cans of nothing but dead rose bushes and weeds. That area has never been maintained much. Timmy came back and asked what the hell I was doing, since no one sees it back there anyway. Good point. But it's that whole pride-of-living-space crap that takes over and makes me work hard for really, naught. Kenny warned me that small critters would eat my hard work, and damned if he wasn't right. He had a wedding to work Saturday night so he didn't see my handiwork until Sunday morning, and wouldn't ya know it, some little f'ing critter totally uprooted one of my tomatoes.

In light of the plant predicament, I stopped at Lowe's after I took Linda & Kenny to the airport in search of some critter-ridder material. Now, knowing I'd be installing whatever solution I purchased sans assistance, my choices were limited. I ended up buying a couple of small trellis things and some deer netting, with anchors to secure it around the bottom. It actually seems to look okay, I hope it does the trick or I will be sorely disappointed (I stress the sore part) with my gardening efforts. After I bought soil, fertilizer, netting, trellis, plant stakes, stake tape, etc., my 5 tomatoes and 4 pepper plants probably cost me $100. I'm sure I could have bought a whole season of tomatoes from the local farmer for $100. Problem is, we don't have local farmers in Parma. I guess I'm supposed to feel pride of a job, done. Instead I just feel sore and achy.

My baby birds have flown the coop, I believe. I didn't even get to tell them goodbye. It was a very poignant moment this morning when I realized they were all gone. At least I'm pretty sure they are. I was out on the porch and the Papa Bird didn't swoop me, the way he always has when we step out there. He was very protective of the babes. I read online that they like cherries, so we had been leaving some on the banister each day and they loved them. Now we have dark red poop in the driveway, but it was worth it to know that maybe we helped the little fellas get a start in life. I know the Mama & Papa were shoulder-to-shoulder with me yesterday as I was turning up the earth for the garden; it was a bug and worm buffet for them and they took full advantage. It was exciting to watch them, I hope someone uses the nest next season. We're going to put a "For Lease, Move-In Condition" sign up by the nest to entice in another family next year :)

Rob became an official Retiree this past Thursday. No more working for The Man for him, now he'll be working for The Little Man, taking orders from Baby Lance. That's a job I would hate and I would suck at it!

Vicki starts her new job with Cocks Cable .. I mean Cox Cable, bright and early Monday morning. Yeah, I won't get tired of making Cock jokes. Too bad Susan Cox (a girl from work) doesn't work at Cox Cable - that would be a whole lotta cox on her business card! Jill, Geri, Fran and I met Vicki for one last lunch hurrah on Friday at Don Pablos. I'm sure it won't be the last, but it will be the last where she gets to drink Dos Equix at noon on a weekday!

I bought myself a Bosch drill today while I was at Lowe's. It seems really girl-friendly. Now I can complete all my household projects that the Mailman seems to have forgotten about since the 24-year-old girlfriend entered the scene. Stupid 24-year-old.

We had a new furnace with central air installed this past week - hooray!!! It's a cool 72 in here now - no more sweating our Cox off! It struggled to cool the place down, being upstairs certainly doesn't help, but it finally got the heat and humidity under control and was able to maintain the cooler temp. The guy has to finish up some of the thermostat work I think Monday, but I have no idea for sure. I'll be at work, so I don't know when/how he's going to get in here, but I wasn't in charge of the plans, I just enjoy the cool air. I'm excited that slowly, but surely, some of the amenities I love are coming back to my world.

My nephew Justin graduated Friday night. My sister-in-law didn't call to tell me the details of the event until mid-afternoon on Friday, and I ended up working late and wasn't able to go. I'll be at his party on the 30th, and I guess the important part isn't being there as much as it is giving money :)

Kristen and Emily joined me on a jaunt to the dirty bookstore on Brookpark Road for lunch last week. I had to make my annual pilgrimage to get a dirty book for my friend Joanne who left for vacation on Thursday. Her and her friend feel naughty when they have a book with cox on vacation, but she's too embarrassed to buy it herself. It was Emily's first trip into a dirty bookstore, and she was rather shocked at some of the paraphernalia available for all sorts of deviants. Emily did say that she was going to go in and ask if they had a fitting room, which I found absolutely hysterical. She chickened out, but it would have been a classic moment had she been able to pull it off.

I added some new plants to my cute backporch, it looks even more awesome.

I'm going to go charge up my drill and get busy. Kenny will come home on Tuesday and see an addition screwed onto the back of the house. I could be dangerous with all this power in my hands!

Peace and may the force be with you.